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0:00
I'm Anderson Cooper, and this is the wired autocomplete interview.
0:01
Ready for any, "who is Anderson Cooper?"
0:07
I'm glad that's not the question because that's very existential.
0:13
Who was Anderson Cooper named after?
0:16
Anderson is a family name.
0:19
It's my dad's mom's maiden name.
0:25
My middle name is Hayes, H.A.Y.S, not H.A.Z.E, which would mean I was named after Purple Haze, which is not the case.
0:28
Who plays Anderson Cooper on Saturday Night Live?
0:32
There have been very, various permutations of me on Saturday Night Live.
0:40
I believe Seth Meyers was the first, there was somebody else then who played me and I didn't love it, but I felt bad because then he heard that I didn't like it.
0:40
And then recently they did it in like a party, the, it, a movie, like a trailer.
0:40
I don't know who does it, but I'm fine with it.
0:54
Who's Anderson Cooper's mother?
0:54
Oh, well, that's an obvious one.
0:57
My mom's Gloria Vanderbilt.
1:02
She was this remarkable lady, not exactly the most traditional of moms.
1:02
I used to view her actually as a space alien who had crash-landed on this planet, and it was my job to sort of protect her and teach her how to live in this world, and I pretty much felt that up until the day she died.
1:19
Who does Anderson Cooper look like?
1:21
Wow, hmm, okay.
1:26
Honestly, the honest answer, have you ever like been in a forest and lifted up a rock and there's like a newt or a salamander and it's startled that the rock has been lifted, and then it scuries away?
2:20
That's what I look like.
2:39
What does Anderson Cooper like in real life?
2:43
I guess I'm a little funnier in real life with my friends and stuff, you know?
2:43
When I do this tour with Andy, two people in the audience often say like, oh, I had no idea you were, you were funny, and I'm not sure that I am, but maybe they're saying funny to look at.
2:43
What languages does Anderson Cooper speak?
2:43
I don't really speak anything.
2:43
I mean, I barely speak English.
2:43
I studied German for a gazillion years.
2:43
My Turkey sneaks, they're good.
2:43
You got to know I enjoyed, I'm busy enjoyed smacking, there are a few speak German, you know how bad my German is.
2:43
I studied Vietnamese, forgot pretty much all of it.
2:43
Thai in a Buddhist monastery for a tiny, tiny bit, and I studied a year Swahili in college.
2:43
I'm a bad student, and I forgot it all, so I don't really know, speak anything.
2:43
I wish I did.
2:43
What Muppet does Anderson Cooper look like?
2:43
I love this question.
2:43
I don't know.
2:43
I mean, if Grover was, you know, translucent, I'd say Grover, because that would be cool.
2:43
I think Grover is great.
2:43
What does Anderson Cooper, what was Anderson Cooper laughing at?
2:43
I assume this is referencing me laughing online.
2:43
There's a bunch of videos of me giggling while I was on the air, break down this, the one, there probably, there's two.
2:49
One I was laughing at, oh, we did a ridiculous about Gerard Depardieu, allegedly drunk on a plane, urinating in a bottle on getting kicked off the plane.
3:01
It was just full of puns.
3:01
The one that started it all was, I'm glad he didn't make a "debt part-two."
3:13
What did Anderson Cooper drink?
3:13
Yeah, that I, I mean, I don't, I, I don't really drink alcohol very much.
3:13
I did on New Year's Eve this last time, and he made me drink a shot every hour.
3:13
Had not had a lot of shots in my life and reacted in a very strange way.
3:40
Does Anderson Cooper, Cooper have eyebrows?
3:47
That is a interesting question.
3:47
When you have white hair, your eyebrows start to go white.
3:47
Yeah, it starts to look like you don't have eyebrows.
3:47
That's what happens.
3:47
A cautionary tale.
3:47
Does Anderson Cooper fly commercial?
3:47
Of course.
3:47
Yes.
3:47
I work for basic cable.
3:47
Like, we come with package, I fly commercial certainly when I'm paying my own way, I can tell you that much.
3:47
Although I will say I have had experiences when I've gotten on a plane, people start to look at me nervously and some people have said to me like, is there something happening where I'm going, cause I don't know if I should be going where you're going cause you don't go anywhere where good things happen.
3:47
I was like, well that's, I see their point.
3:47
Does Anderson Cooper have bodyguards?
4:06
That's kind of the question that someone would put in as they are planning to try to kill me.
4:22
Both of these are sort of like gradually getting closer to what is Anderson Cooper's daily routine and where will he be at 9:00 p.m. on a weekday night?
4:27
Yeah, I have a huge team, big security team, it just comes with the territory.
4:37
Does Cooper have tattoos?
4:37
I love tattoos, I'm obsessed with tattoos.
4:37
Ever since I was a little kid, my dad used to draw snake tattoos on my arms because I would ask him to, but I can't pull the trigger.
4:37
I can't, I do not, I have an idea what I want, I like the idea of like a memento mori.
4:47
I could go on and I know it's really parts, I know the answers.
4:54
I don't have tattoos.
5:00
Alright.
4:56
Does Anderson Cooper have any pets?
4:58
Yes, I have a dog named Lily.
5:04
She's a Welsh Springer Spaniel, she's super cute.
5:04
My first pet was a snake named Santa, Sam, but I couldn't say Isis, so it was Sam.
5:04
When Sam died, I was, I was six, I was so heartbroken that my dad had him encased in Lucite and I have him in my office still.
5:16
Creepy, isn't it?
5:24
Does Anderson Cooper wash his jeans?
5:20
Yes, I do.
5:25
I, yeah, I do, I'm just going to say I do because the truth is I don't, but I'm going to say I do because people's heads seem to explode if they hear that I don't.
5:24
The truth is, yes, I occasionally wash my jeans.
5:36
I wear a lot of APC, and APC, they're jeans, they don't recommend that you wash them a lot.
5:32
I do exactly as I'm told by the pieces of paper that their jeans come with, and it seems fun.
5:46
Okay, cool, Anderson Cooper.
5:46
Hmm, how did Anderson Cooper meet Andy Cohen?
5:46
Oh, it's a tawdry tale.
5:46
No, it's not.
5:46
We had mutual friends and you know when you have like straight mutual friends and they know two gay people so they're like, oh, you guys should meet, it never works out.
5:46
You don't need to do that in frustrated, but I had a phone conversation with him.
5:46
The phone, we're supposed to set up a blind date and, and I knew within 45 seconds of talking to him that I would never, ever go on a date with Andy Cohen and I just imagined him on a like a Bluetooth headset walking around his office, just sticking, lighting a lot, and then like 45 seconds into the conversation he asked me, he broke my cardinal rule which is he asked me about my mom.
5:46
He didn't even ask me about my mom, he made a statement of fact, your mom is Gloria Vanderbilt.
5:46
I was like, yes, yes she is.
5:46
Will Anderson Cooper run for president?
5:46
No, no way, not even, I mean, why does Anderson Cooper remind me of dinosaurs?
5:46
I think 'cause I'm old, maybe I look prehistoric or like I've been frozen in amber for a long time and suddenly had been revitalized by a scientist on a strange island.
5:46
Didn't Anderson Cooper serve in the military?
5:46
No, I did not serve in the military.
6:09
I was very interested in serving the military and at the time if you were gay you're not allowed to serve in the military and were gay and wanted to you had to lie in order to serve in the military.
7:17
I, yeah, I did not.
7:22
Why didn't Anderson Cooper leave Star Wars?
7:22
Oh, okay, I got it, I got blowback, I guess it was on a Colb air show that I had left the lot one of the last Star Wars.
7:22
I got to say, I love Star Wars, I love Empire Strikes Back, I love, I like if Star Wars, it takes itself seriously.
7:40
If I'm watching a serious thing, I don't want a charming kid, a spunky charming kid who's got attitude jump in and, and help, you know, like when Raiders of the Lost Ark suddenly got a spunky kid in one of them, really?
7:55
I don't think he needs a spunky kid.
7:57
It's like when I was a kid, Saturday morning cartoons, I think after Star Wars coming up Saturday morning cartoons often suddenly had to get like a robotic sidekick friend, I think because they were influenced by R2D2 and so like the Wonder Twins suddenly got a spunky monkey, you know, to like be their friend Gleek.
8:15
I don't want a spunky character in my sci-fi.
8:20
I want Darth Vader on Obi-Wan, I, you know, battles and, and battles and, and more killings.
8:17
I don't want humor in, in my thing.
8:28
I'm not even going to mention Jar Jar Binks.
8:28
What, what, what Anderson Cooper, what movies is Anderson Cooper playing in?
8:33
Oh God, it's like a walk of shame.
8:37
I've always resisted being in movies because I always think it's weird when like an actual like newscaster pops up in a movie.
8:44
I was in this movie, she called Chappie, Hugh Jackman was in it.
8:46
I recently saw Jackman, I went up and I said, you know, you and I were in a movie together.
8:51
He was, oh yeah, which one?
8:51
I was like, Chappie.
8:58
He looked at me and goes, I tried my best, I did all I could.
8:53
I was like, I know, I know, I did too.
9:03
Then the other, then I was, never again, never again.
9:06
I got suckered in by the Lord Marvel and I did a, I would myself in a Superman Batman movie, you know.
9:13
Okay, we don't need to continue with that.
9:16
But then my greatest mistake in life, I got offered being Martian and by then I was so burned.
9:20
I was like, I am never doing a movie again.
9:23
I am the kiss of death in all these movies.
9:24
It's nobody else's fault, it must just be my fault.
9:28
I saw Martian, I loved Martian.
9:41
What happened with Anderson Cooper today?
9:41
Good question.
9:41
No idea.
9:41
I mean, today don't, all right.
9:41
But really, honestly, it's hour by hour, things can fall apart very quickly.
9:41
Where does Anderson Cooper eat?
9:41
I go through phases, I eat the same thing every day for months at a time.
9:45
Well, for last several years has been oatmeal, and now I've been drinking Soylent a bunch, which I don't know what are that's going to me and then I have sushi and but I just, I can't, food just, I'm a food as a mess, like I'm not interested in it, I don't like thinking about it, it's confusing.
10:00
I just one, just a pill every day for food and that would be fine with me.
10:06
What does Anderson Cooper reading?
10:07
Actually, right now, I'm just, I'm working on a book, so I'm reading a lot of like historical things.
10:17
What's the last really, oh, there's this great book, Krishna Dora that I just read, which I highly, highly recommend.
10:17
Krishna Dora's great, a little life is great, the song of Achilles is really great.
10:17
Yeah, all right.
10:17
Did Anderson Cooper, I know the answer is no, didn't I wasn't me.
10:17
Did Anderson Cooper always have white hair?
10:17
Ah, I was not born this way, no, with no disrespect to Lady Gaga.
10:17
I started going white when I was like 21.
10:17
It started as a patch right here, then it gradually just started to spread.
10:17
Yeah, I didn't really pay attention to it and then, but by my mid-20s, like I've had full-on salt and pepper and then one day I looked in a mirror and all the pepper was gone and now at a certain point I crossed the Rubicon and no one says prematurely anymore, they're just like, oh yeah, normally a guy got white hair.
10:17
I miss being called premature.
10:17
There's a joke in there somewhere, anyway.
10:17
Did Anderson Cooper play a White Walker?
10:17
Yes, so I wasn't actually in Game of Thrones as a White Walker.
10:49
I did a story on 60 Minutes because I am a huge Game of Thrones fan, so when I was doing this story, I said to like the makeup guys over at Game of Thrones, you know that people call me White Walker and they offered to make me up as a White Walker.
11:26
So I went, I flew to Kent, England to the studio.
11:33
I, and I just sat there, there was nothing for me to do.
11:31
My crew was like, okay, we're good, you know, we got that.
11:36
I was like, no, no, I'm just going to, just going to sit here a little, little longer and, you know, with like my sword over my shoulder, sitting around and having a Diet Coke and, you know, people like Anderson, you got to get out of the White Walker.
11:36
Did Anderson Cooper attend a college?
11:33
I did attend college and not only attend, I graduated, which I am very happy about.
11:53
I went to high school in New York and I went to Yale in New Haven, and then when I graduated, I never wanted to go to school again.
11:59
Okay, did Anderson Cooper have a baby?
11:59
He, not that I know of, I have not had a baby.
12:05
Andy Cohen had a baby, somebody had probably Googled that and heard, oh, he had a baby, I think I confused.
12:39
I love babies though, babies are great, although Andy's baby's a little judgy, you know what I mean?
12:39
It's just a little judgey.
12:39
I think a lot of babies are very judgy.
12:39
I love a nice baby though, don't, please don't email me, I know people get very upset, but did Anderson Cooper change his name?
12:39
Nope.
12:39
I, are they thinking, what's curious to me about this is, do they think Anderson Cooper's a bad name and that I changed it to something else and they just haven't heard, or did they think it was something else and I changed it to Anderson Cooper because I wanted to sound like an 18th century law firm?
12:44
Probably longer answer than you anticipated, wasn't it?