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I'm Abby Taliser, self-defense instructor, published author, and motivational speaker.
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I am here today to answer your questions from the internet.
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This is self-defense support.
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Fose is asking, "What is the best strategy for strike and flee self-defense?"
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When it comes to striking and fleeing, one of the most effective strikes is a push kick because it's targeting the groin, a vulnerable target.
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It's creating additional distance for you to escape, and it works very well for that strategy and that overall objective.
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I really want to show you this one.
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So, let's go.
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So, whenever it comes to striking for self-defense, I want to target a vulnerable area with a harder surface area on my body, and I want to strike through the target for maximum impact.
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So, for the push kick, I'm driving the ball of my foot through the attacker's groin and creating that space.
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I'm also generating more power by bringing my hips forward.
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So, let's do it.
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Are you okay?
1:00
So that is your strike and flee tactic.
1:02
Levitating loser.
1:02
Is it, is shouting fire really more effective than crying rape at getting people to come and help?
1:08
So I first want to say that you cannot rely on anybody to come and save you.
1:13
You are your first and your last line of defense.
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That is why training self-defense matters so much.
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Now when it comes to the yelling fire instead advice, there is no clear evidence that using one word is going to help you over another consistently.
1:23
But what's really important here is that you be loud, you be visible, and you be specific.
1:29
For example, if I see somebody with the red shirt, I'm going to yell at them and say, "Hey, you in the red shirt, call 911."
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Because specific commands help people overcome their own hesitation.
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So, as a general principle, be loud.
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Draw as much attention to yourself because you will make that attacker think twice about targeting you.
1:46
Illustrious fan 7700.
1:46
What do y'all do when you're being followed?
1:50
If you are being followed, do not go home.
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You never want to give somebody information about where you live or any additional information that can be used against you later.
1:58
What you do want to do is get to a safe location as quickly as possible.
2:02
So, this is a well-lit populated area, a grocery store, of course, a police station.
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But when you head there, you want to prioritize your safety.
2:08
This means creating as much distance as possible, even going to the other side of the street.
2:13
If you have a self-defense device on you, get it in your hand ready to use.
2:16
If you have a safety app, turn it on.
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I also recommend calling someone on speaker.
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And the most important is engaging your situational awareness.
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You have to see what's going on around you and also let that person know that you're aware of them because that alone might make you a hard enough target that it's not worth the risk for them.
2:33
So if you sense that somebody is following you, if you can place your back against a wall safely to eliminate your blind spot and let them pass you, it's going to help put you in a better and stronger position because now they're walking in front of you and you're behind them.
2:45
All right, this is from the self-defense subreddit.
2:47
Is the kick to the balls effective in self-defense?
2:51
A kick to the groin is very effective, but you have to understand that there are no guarantees.
2:56
First of all, you cannot control how somebody's going to physically respond.
3:00
You can't control pain tolerance.
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You can't control how adrenaline is going to affect them.
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So, when you are targeting the groin or any target for self-defense, the real objective is to disrupt the attacker long enough to create that window to escape or to get ahead on your next defensive move.
3:13
Of course, you just want to keep disrupting in any way possible, strikes using objects.
3:19
It's not about preparing a sequence of steps and hoping it's going to work under stress.
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It's about making sure that you lock in survival concepts and strategies that you can adapt with under stress.
3:29
The Humboldt is asking, "What everyday item could transition into a self-defense tool if needed?"
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I really want to demo this for you guys, so let's go.
3:36
All right.
3:36
Any everyday object can be used to defend yourself with if it helps shield you, buy you time, disrupt an attack.
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A chair is a great example, and a purse is also a great example here for the chair.
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It serves as a shield.
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It also helps create distance and worst case scenarios, the last are unable to strike with it.
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Okay, you get the point.
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One other thing I want to say is that any everyday object can also be dropped.
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It can be grabbed by the attacker.
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It could also be used against you.
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So, you have to factor that into your training.
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Now, let's talk about the purse.
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So from here, if I'm being attacked, I can use it to defend myself with.
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I can also grab it and I can strike somebody with it to help stun my attacker.
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Again, very great option if that's what you have on you.
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But like with anything in self-defense, you have to take time and practice using it so that under stress, you have that muscle memory to use it.
4:35
Combat SD Rob using your keys for self-defense.
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Good advice or urban legend.
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All right.
4:39
It's very common advice and I was given that too, but I no longer recommend it.
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When you use keys to defend yourself with, for example, I'm holding it here.
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I'm holding it here.
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I'm holding it here.
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There is a higher chance that you can injure your own hand rather than generate meaningful stopping power.
4:53
What I recommend instead is actually getting a device that's specifically designed for your keychain or to have on you when you're in public that can help you disrupt an attack, such as something like this.
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You can hold it and you can just do simple hammer fist.
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It actually looks like this.
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It's like the motion of banging on a door and it can help disrupt an attack and create that opportunity for you to escape.
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So, make sure wherever you are that you know your local laws when it comes to devices and also practice it and then have it on you and easy to access when you need it.
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Otherwise, there is no point of investing in a safety device like this.
5:26
We have a question here from Kora.
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Given your past experience, what's the most common tactical mistake people make when trying to defend themselves in a violent situation?
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I would for sure say hesitation and also trying to force a defense that has a specific series of steps instead of adapting to what they're actually facing in that moment.
5:47
So if you know strategies that you can adapt with, it's going to let you be more responsive to what you're actually facing and seeing in the moment as opposed to being like, "Wait, it's supposed to go this way."
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And then it doesn't.
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Then you freeze.
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You hesitate.
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You become slow.
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It lets the attacker have an advantage over you.
6:02
There's a very big difference between self-defense that's more choreographed versus self-defense that's literally prepping you to assess your surroundings and implement strategies that you can adapt with.
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So, what I have found in self-defense is that you have consistent reference points.
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For example, if somebody is choking you, there's not going to be a different way of choking you when it's a front choke with two hands on your neck.
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That is a reference point that you can have an expected reaction from, like how to release the choke.
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But from that moment on, you don't know how that person's going to react.
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That's why it's important to train concepts and phases that you can adapt with.
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For example, if I release that choke, I can disengage.
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If I want to stay and continue striking because I haven't disrupted them enough to create that window to escape, then I'll continue doing that.
6:45
And when you have that mindset for survival, your expectations become way more realistic.
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Self-defense is messy.
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It's unpredictable, and all you really have under stress are strategies and concepts and tactics that you can adopt with.
6:58
From the no stupid questions subreddit, why is pepper spray such a popular self-defense option?
7:03
Pepper spray or pepper gel is a great option because it lets you defend yourself from a distance.
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It's also small and easy to carry.
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I personally prefer pepper gel because it reduces the risk of blowback.
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But regardless of which one you choose, you have to first make sure that it's legal where you live.
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You have to practice using it safely and you have it on you and accessible so that you're able to use it in a real life situation.
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There are inert options to train with that don't have live spray in them so you can actually practice using them.
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And it's good to practice in realistic scenarios.
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Pressure test yourself getting it from your bag, having it in your hand.
7:35
You want to go across the attacker's face, giving verbal commands, even integrating self-defense into it.
7:40
Query Boyo, what is the best weapon or skill to have for self-defense as a woman?
7:45
So I want to start by saying that the only attack you are guaranteed to survive is the one that you can prevent.
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That is why the best skill for a woman is not a weapon or a move.
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It is what's called situational awareness.
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Situational awareness means being more aware of your surroundings but in a tactical way for survival.
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So this means taking notice of safe locations, exits, objects that you can creatively use to defend yourself with any security nearby.
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When you start practicing this, you are going to feel paranoid.
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That's very normal, that this really is a life-saving habit that I encourage you to start doing right now.
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I always advocate for people to take self-defense.
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From the systems that I've been exposed to, I find that they all have value.
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But it's very important that you develop a survival mindset, situational awareness, and prevention protocols.
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And of course, to pressure test defenses from best to worst case scenario, so you really lock down those survival strategies and are able to take the pressure in a real life situation.
8:35
A Quora user is asking, "What should I do when someone tries to force me into their car?"
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If somebody is trying to force you into their car, you have to do everything possible to intercept that attack because being taken to a second location is way worse.
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It reduces visibility.
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It increases risk.
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Strike.
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Be loud.
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If you're close to the car, if you can push off of the car, you want to drop your weight.
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You have to be in that mindset.
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I am not getting into that car.
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I am not giving up.
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I'm fighting to disrupt and disengage and get to a safe location as quickly as possible.
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Water.
9:08
Kada is asking most trash advice.
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100 meter dash is the best self-defense.
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The goal of self-defense is to survive.
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And if your brain assesses under a threat that escape is possible, yes, run as quickly as you can.
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But I want to take this opportunity to say that fitness and staying in shape is also part of self-defense.
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You might have to keep fighting and defending yourself.
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You're going to be exhausted and also you might have to literally run for your life.
9:33
Heiny90 is asking how to break free when pinned against a wall.
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So, when somebody is pinning your wrist against a wall, they are actually giving up their own arms.
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They're not striking you.
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They're not attacking you in any other way.
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It's a great opportunity for you to go after the groin because they are so close to you.
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Depending on your striking distance and your range, you can go for the knee.
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You can go for a shin kick.
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And then that's going to start to disrupt the attacker and let you start to move your body into a better position to do wrist grab releases, additional strikes, and to continue to defend yourself until you can create that opportunity to escape.
10:05
If somebody pins your wrist against the wall, you have to act fast before they continue on with their attack.
10:09
From here, the attacker has both my hands against the wall, giving me a gift where in this moment, I'm able to target the groin.
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So, depending on your striking range, I can go for a knee.
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I can go for a shin kick to the groin.
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What I'm going to do next is slide my body over and get ready to do a wrist release if I need to.
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If it's safe to escape from here, I'm going to escape.
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If I need to continue striking, I have options.
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I can control here.
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I can continue to strike even more and then create distance and escape.
10:42
What?
10:46
And that is how you break free when pinned against a wall.
10:48
From Shakespeare 06.
10:50
If a woman is attacking you, example pushing you, yelling at you, hitting you, kicking you, or all of the above, is it okay to hit back?
10:56
Why or why not?
10:58
Self-defense is not about gender.
10:58
It's about behavior and threat and the tactics don't change.
11:02
You are legally allowed to defend yourself, but you have to stop when the threat stops, too.
11:05
If somebody is attacking you, there's a chance that they can really hurt you, but you want to make sure that your response is proportional to the level of force that's being put upon you.
11:14
From Adams Sim, why does every American house and movies and TV have a baseball bat?
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Okay, so baseball bats make for a great TV, but in reality, they have limitations.
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First of all, you have to be able to swing a bat towards a target.
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And in a home, there could be very tight hallways, small entry points.
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You might not be able to achieve your objective.
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And there's also the risk that the attacker can grab the baseball bat and use it against you.
11:44
When it comes to home invasion and home safety, you have to look at it in the equation of prevention and then reaction.
11:50
So, prevention, home security systems, great neighborhood watch programs, even the simple habit of locking your door, which a lot of people like, you know, accidentally don't do.
12:00
And then you go into the reaction side.
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This is where I recommend investing in a self-defense tool or a device that you're legally allowed to use, placing it in a consistent place in your home, out of reach of children, and then actually practice what you would do in emergency situation.
12:14
I also recommend always having your keys at your night table so you can hit the alarm and maybe scare someone off.
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But when it comes to where you're placing things, it has to be strategic.
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It has to be based on your actual home layout.
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And the more that you drill these scenarios, the more obvious it's going to become where a great place is for you to store that device.
12:32
This is from Tasia.
12:32
How do I break free from someone if they grab my hair or my body?
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So, I'm going to highlight the hair grab defense.
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I get asked this question a lot, but it's better if I show you.
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Let's go.
12:41
Again, you have to intercept this attack as quickly as possible because when somebody grabs your hair, they have control over your head, which has control over your body.
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So, let's go through a common scenario where somebody's grabbing my hair.
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Immediately, I'm getting into my base.
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I'm wrapping my arm around the attacker's arm.
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I'm putting pressure on the shoulder joint.
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I can dislocate the shoulder.
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If I continue, if for some reason they're still holding on from here, I have options.
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I can close in, continue to attack, and even render him unconscious if I have to, but the priority is always to disrupt and disengage as quickly and safely as possible.
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And that's how you break free from a hair grab.
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NM01 01 01.
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I want to learn how to improve my reaction time and reflexes.
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So, improving your reaction time is actually about pattern recognition.
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This again is why it's so important to train defensive reactions from best case to worst case scenario so that your brain builds these action templates that it can access automatically under stress and let you actually adapt because self-defense it's messy.
13:45
It's unpredictable and you have to train for that reality.
13:47
Pickpocketing or grabbing you know your phone from your hands that is obviously something that's happening a lot.
13:53
Now this comes back to situational awareness and also prevention protocols.
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Of course being aware of your surroundings.
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You might detect somebody targeting you.
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Create distance.
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Keep an eye on that person.
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Beyond that, to practice situational awareness, I always say cut the distractions.
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Get your phone away.
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Lower input audio or cut it completely because you need to be aware of what's going on around you.
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And that text message, that quick scroll on social media, checking your emails, it can wait because your safety is always more important.
14:20
Now, when it comes to your belongings, if you have a bag, you know, close your zippers, put it in front of you, put your hand over it, and never leave your bag on the corner of a chair hanging off.
14:32
If you are approached by a stranger, you have to be on high alert because it can easily be a setup to take something from you to mug you.
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So, practice situational awareness because it really truly is life-saving.
14:41
Curious cat NYC777.
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Urgent self-defense tip: How to get out of a chokehold.
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You know what?
14:52
I'm going to show you this one.
14:52
Let's go.
14:52
From here, I have to intercept this as quickly as possible because I need to prevent myself from going unconscious.
14:52
I get into my base for balance.
14:52
If the attacker is putting even more pressure, I'm going to be shuffling with him just enough to keep me on my feet so that I can release the grip.
15:07
I'm doing that by creating this position and then I'm twisting my body.
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I keep an eye on my attacker.
15:15
I don't overturn so that I expose my back.
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But from here, if I feel like I can safely, I can disengage.
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Or from here, I release.
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I can strike.
15:28
Depending on my height, if you can get a back hammer fist in, if I can close in for a kick to the groin, and if I have to close in and continue to defend myself from here, there are even more options like having to render him unconscious if needed.
15:40
It all depends in the scenario that you're in, but the priority is to disrupt the attack and escape as quickly as possible.
15:47
And one more time, and that's how you get out of a chokehold from the martial arts subreddit, eye pokes.
15:59
Are they effective or just escalation?
15:59
The eyes are very vulnerable, and targeting them can be very effective, but you have to understand that when you're going after the eyes, they are considered a higher use of force because they can cause permanent damage.
15:59
Targeting the eyes can escalate a situation very quickly.
15:59
So, this is definitely more of a last resort tactic to use.
15:59
NY flow I want to learn how to overcome the freeze response in an emergency situation.
15:59
So, the freeze response is a normal survival reaction, but what we do in self-defense is we train what's called a pre-planned disruptor move.
16:31
So, this can be something as simple as stepping offline or getting into your survival stance because movement is going to break the freeze and the hesitation, not trying to think your way out of it faster.
16:40
The question here is when is it time to physically defend yourself?
16:44
Self-defense is always a last resort.
16:46
And I follow a response progression of avoid, diffuse, and defend.
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I first try to avoid the situation.
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If I can escape, I'm out of there.
16:55
If I can, I try to diffuse the situation.
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And if I cannot diffuse a situation, I am ready to defend myself as a last resort.
17:01
But when the threat stops, you stop, too.
17:03
KK Grey Z00, what is the best personal safety app?
17:07
A great safety app is one that lets you share your live location and reach out to emergency contacts and emergency services with minimal taps.
17:14
It's also important to not rely on tech to save you.
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Technology is about giving you options, but you have to rely on yourself as your last resort.
17:23
So, personal alarms, it has to be ready to use.
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It has to be loud enough.
17:27
The objective is to disrupt the attack with a lot of noise and draw attention to yourself.
17:32
That noise alone can, you know, disrupt the attacker and make him flee.
17:36
It also draws attention to you, creating accountability for the attacker, and that alone might make you not worth the risk anymore.
17:41
And in a split-second decision, you definitely want to know what your strategy is when you're getting attacked.
17:47
So, if you have multiple survival tools on you, you have to know which one is your go-to or your fumbling and wasting time could actually be more dangerous.
17:54
L. Sancho 0093.
17:54
Any tips on deescalating a situation and avoiding a fight when it comes to diffusing and deescalating an attack?
18:04
For some people, this might be letting go of their ego.
18:06
For others, it might be overcoming social conditioning.
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For example, choosing their own safety over being polite.
18:12
But when you're actively trying to deescalate a situation, you want to protect your space and distance.
18:18
What I recommend is, of course, not getting into like a full survival stance.
18:21
What I actually do is what's called a hidden survival stance.
18:23
All right.
18:25
So, here's how I do my hidden survival stance.
18:27
Because when I'm trying to deescalate a situation, I don't want to show that I'm ready to fight, but mentally and physically, I am getting ready.
18:35
And it looks like this.
18:35
I drive one foot back.
18:37
So, I'm ready in kind of half of a survival stance.
18:39
And my hands are coming up and they're central in case I have to do anything.
18:44
I'm verbally trying to deescalate the situation and calm the person down.
18:48
But mentally, my survival mindset is on and I'm ready to go into action if I need to.
18:52
Okay, I'm trying to calm the person down.
18:55
I'm trying to deescalate instead of getting into a fight stance and it's telling them like, hey, I'm ready to fight.
19:00
For example, if they're harassing me and they're ready to grab me here, I can even, you know, leverage element surprise for a groin strike and that might give me the advantage to escape quickly.
19:11
So again, it's all based on situation.
19:13
You have to train these concepts so that you can just react and adapt to what's being shown in front of you in the moment.
19:20
I highly recommend this because if you do have to, you know, go into action to defend yourself, then you're also able to leverage what's called the element of surprise and hopefully get that advantage towards your safety.
19:32
If you're getting attacked, you have a legal right to defend yourself.
19:36
But once the threat is no longer active, you're no longer active as well.
19:41
Because if you continue striking or you know going after someone, you take yourself from a defender to an aggressor illegally potentially.
19:47
So you have to be very mindful of the situation and stop when the threat stops.
19:52
Anon_non_nam, what's your tried and tested way to get rid of a creep?
19:59
If you're being targeted by anybody, you always want to go to that avoid, diffuse, defend protocol.
20:06
When it comes to avoiding, the goal is to try to have them move on.
20:08
So, say that you're at a bar or they're approaching you or they're harassing you or not being respectful.
20:12
This is where that verbal self-defense comes in.
20:15
For example, if they say, "Hey, are you alone?"
20:18
You never admit that you're alone.
20:19
You can say, "No, someone is coming any minute now."
20:21
If you try to diffuse the situation and they're ignoring you, you can always escalate your response by getting help or even causing a scene.
20:29
And again, drawing attention to yourself is what's going to create accountability for that person.
20:35
That might just be enough for them to move on.
20:36
But if it continues to escalate, you know, you might have to get up and leave or even physically defend yourself if they continue to target you.
20:44
But it's very important that once you notice that someone has targeted you that you're always aware of where they are and just because they might leave the establishment that you're in, you have to be on high alert like when you're going home because they just might be waiting for a better opportunity to catch you off guard.
20:58
And as I always say, if you see something, say something because we have to work together as a community to keep each other safe.
21:05
For example, going to the police station and filing a report because that report can be what helps save another person in the future.
21:10
This quor user is saying, "What are some of the best self-defense tips for domestic violence?"
21:15
My father and brother hit me.
21:18
How do I protect myself?
21:18
I want to start by saying I'm so sorry for what you have gone through or are going through.
21:23
And I hope that right now as I'm reading this, you are in a safe location.
21:27
There is absolutely no excuse for domestic abuse or violence.
21:30
And you have to prioritize your safety.
21:33
If you can get to a safe location and reach out to a trusted person, that is very important.
21:40
And if you can also document anything safely, do that.
21:41
There are also great helplines that can help you navigate your options.
21:45
If you can, of course, go to the authorities and uh seek a protective order.
21:50
And I just want to say that if you're in this situation, you are not alone and there are great options and organizations that are there to help you.
21:58
This is a question from Kora.
22:00
What self-defense moves actually work when someone threatens you with a weapon?
22:04
When you're defending yourself against a weapon, you have to understand that this is extremely high risk and you have to do everything possible to escape first.
22:12
If you have to defend yourself, for example, if you have a gun being pointed at you, I'm redirecting the line of fire away from you while going to control the weapon and the arm and disrupting the attacker and then disarm.
22:25
But if you can escape, for example, after disrupting the attacker, then do so.
22:28
Another example with an edged weapon.
22:30
The first phase is to redirect the blade away from you, control the arm holding the blade, disrupt the attacker, and then disarm.
22:37
There's also the risk that that weapon can be let go of.
22:40
It can go flying.
22:42
And you have to factor that into your training.
22:44
Do you escape first?
22:45
Do you have to deal with your attacker first?
22:47
Do you have to jump for the weapon first?
22:49
All of this stuff has to be factored into training.
22:51
And there's a very high chance that you are going to get injured.
22:55
But the goal is to try to protect your vital areas and again just get to safety as quickly as possible.
23:01
This is a question from Kora.
23:03
If someone is robbing you, should you toss your wallet and run the other way?
23:07
So if somebody is robbing you, give them what they want because your life is worth more than any material object.
23:11
But when you're doing this, try to be tactical and prioritize your safety.
23:14
If you see the opportunity to escape to a safe location and you feel in that moment that throwing your wallet is going to help give you more time to get there safely, then yes, that can work.
23:27
But as you're doing this, be ready mentally and physically to defend yourself because situations like this can escalate very quickly.
23:32
A Kora user is asking, "How important is it to trust your instincts when it comes to personal safety?"
23:38
I always say that your instincts and your intuition is like your internal alarm system going off and it's so important to listen to it.
23:44
But it's very difficult for people to do because of factors like social conditioning or hesitation.
23:49
But when you decide that your life and your dreams are worth defending, that is when you start to prioritize your safety and make your safety a non-negotiable.
23:59
A very common example that I hear is when a woman feels the need to be polite, but she uses that pressure to override her instincts to leave the situation and get to safety.
24:10
So, when you train self-defense and you start to really strengthen that signal and listening to your instincts, that's what's going to help you prioritize your safety over any pressure that you're dealing with in a dangerous situation.
24:22
This is it for today.
24:23
I hope that this information is already helping making you a hard target.
24:27
Thanks for watching.
24:28
Self-defense support.