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0:00
Hey man, I'm Kevin Smith and this is the wired autocomplete interview.
0:08
A weird question they went to the internet and literally typed in that question.
0:16
Who is Kevin Smith?
0:16
Who is Kevin Smith?
0:16
I used to be able to be like, "Oh, Kevin Smith, fat guy from New Jersey."
0:24
But then that changed.
0:26
Kevin Smith won't stop.
0:26
He's been at it for 25 years doing various, that's who Kevin Smith is.
0:31
Who is Kevin Smith Big Bang Theory?
0:33
Does that indicate that people were watching The Big Bang Theory be like, "I don't know who this fool is, I have to look him up."
0:53
How weird, because in my mind everybody knows who I am.
0:53
I've been around for 25 years, smeared all over the corporate landscape like feces and I assume most people know who I am.
0:53
But what this tells me is there are a bunch of cats who were watching that Big Bang figure, "I don't know who this clot is."
0:53
Who is Kevin Smith's daughter?
0:53
Really, the question behind the question is, who is Kevin Smith to give them a kid?
0:53
I'm sure that's the next question.
0:53
Who on earth would Kevin Smith?
0:53
Kevin Smith's daughter.
0:53
Who's Kevin Smith's daughter?
0:53
I can answer that, Harley Quinn Smith.
0:53
You named her after the Joker's sidekick.
0:53
Who is Kevin Smith married to?
0:53
That makes a lot of sense.
0:53
So right after, like, who would this fool, the obvious question is, who did this pool, this lady?
1:22
If I could ride in here and say, Jennifer Schwalbach.
1:24
Got a name like an old German hausfrau, but she's not.
1:31
When I met her, she was a journalist, she wrote for USA Today.
1:31
I gave a really good interview.
1:31
The interview lasted like an hour, but then we sat around talking for two hours after that and stuff.
1:31
And she got to know, who is Kevin Smith?
1:31
Kevin Smith Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?
1:47
Did I win?
1:47
Can you win without playing and did nobody tell me?
1:50
Wouldn't that be amazing if I'd had like a million dollars unclaimed sitting at ABC for like the better part of the last 10 years?
2:07
That's like easy money right there.
2:07
I have no idea why this would be.
2:07
Maybe there was a contestant named Kevin Smith.
2:07
I'll be honest with you, the name doesn't exactly stand out like Quentin Tarantino's.
2:07
There's only one of those.
2:07
There are a lot of Kevin Smiths.
2:07
What was Kevin Smith's first movie?
2:07
Clerks.
2:07
That's the word I say every day of my life and have since 1994, because it changed my entire life.
2:07
I made this movie called Clerks, that's why we're having this conversation.
2:35
What happened to Kevin Smith?
2:40
Question you never want to read while you're out there promote a movie.
2:40
Don't feel real relevant when you're like, "What happened to Kevin Smith?"
2:40
He's still around.
2:40
I think I'm gonna choose to believe its reference is what happened to Kevin Smith his health condition.
2:40
Because I changed, I used to be a larger person, now I'm a smaller person because I had a massive heart attack.
2:44
So what happened to Kevin Smith?
2:46
He had a Widowmaker.
2:50
That's the heart attack you have when the LAD, that's the artery that goes across the front of your heart, 100% blocked by cholesterol.
2:50
I used to eat a lot of animal food products, I used to drink two gallons of milk a day.
2:50
The doctor goes, "You got full blockage in the LAD going across your heart, man, that's called a Widowmaker heart attack."
3:02
Reached up in me and saved my life with his hands and tools and just like that, that's amazing.
3:08
So what happened to Kevin Smith?
3:10
He lived.
3:10
He's like the boy who lived.
3:16
He's a modern day Harry Potter with none of the magic.
3:14
What is Kevin Smith's diet?
3:19
After I had a heart attack, my kid encouraged me to go vegan.
3:19
She had been a vegan for two, three years at that point.
3:23
So she was like, "I gotta flip him."
3:25
And she did, and I became vegan.
3:25
And so I hate vegetables, I hate them with a passion.
3:36
Very hard to be vegan when you hate vegetables and stuff.
3:36
But what I do is now I intermittently fast, because given the choice between like broccoli and kumquats, you're like, "You know what, I'd rather not eat."
3:36
And so you just don't eat at all, and so you skip meals.
3:44
I don't eat breakfast.
3:55
I make my fast at about one or two o'clock in the afternoon.
3:55
So I gotta go as deep into the day as I can and I don't eat before or after eight o'clock at night.
3:53
Because what happened to Kevin Smith, what his chemist with diet is, he went vegan.
3:57
What episodes of The Flash did Kevin Smith direct?
4:01
Sometimes in my spare time, when I was sitting around just talking for a living, I direct.
4:07
So I've directed a few episodes, three episodes of The Flash.
4:11
It's a show where the boy solves all those problems while running very fast.
4:15
And then I've directed four episodes of Supergirl and that's a show in which the girl solves all of her problems by being from another planet altogether.
4:22
What does Kevin Smith smell like?
4:35
What does Kevin Smith taste like?
4:28
What's the question gonna be, look like now?
4:32
Well, you're looking at it.
4:35
It's that simple.
4:37
This ain't a choice, this is like, you know, either eat healthy and lose weight or die.
4:40
So that's what Kevin Smith looks like now.
4:43
Why is Kevin Smith in Lego Batman 3?
4:55
So somebody was playing Lego Batman 3 and they're like, "You mean he's in this too?"
4:55
Why?
4:55
I don't know.
4:55
I got asked.
4:55
I remember getting a phone call and they're like, "You like Batman, right?"
4:55
I love Batman.
4:55
Like, "You want to be in the Lego Batman game?"
4:58
I was like, "Yeah."
4:59
Because my career started in film as director, but somewhere along the line I let go of that and I just became me for a living.
5:05
Where is Kevin Smith?
5:09
Where's Kevin Smith's comic book store?
5:11
It's in Red Bank, New Jersey.
5:11
Beautiful downtown Red Bank, New Jersey.
5:14
We had a TV show about it for seven seasons, that's five into to seven seasons on AMC, it was called Comic Book Men.
6:02
Which stormtrooper was Kevin Smith?
6:02
Because I played a stormtrooper in The Force Awakens, man, it's just my voice.
6:02
I wasn't in the costume.
6:02
I couldn't have squeezed into the costume at that point.
6:02
He didn't have a name, they didn't give me a designation.
6:02
I called him TK 420, you know, because you get it.
6:02
Could Kevin Smith direct Batman?
6:02
What a great question.
6:02
If you're asking me, I'd say no.
6:02
That takes patience.
6:02
Making them superhero movies look like they take a lot of time.
6:02
I barely have enough patience for the CW shows.
6:02
They shoot those things in nine days and by day six I'm like, "Are we still doing this?"
6:02
If I was asked to direct a Batman movie, I'm not dumb, I'd say yeah.
5:59
And I'd let somebody else do it and collect the check.
6:04
Why does Kevin Smith wear hockey jerseys?
6:07
Clearly today that's not the case.
6:09
For a long, long time I lived in hockey jerseys.
6:15
I was much heavier and for those of you that don't know this, the hockey jersey also acts as a fat guy's muumuu.
6:17
So I lived in hockey jerseys to hide my fat.
6:24
Then I lost a bunch of weight and I kept trying to wear the hockey jersey, but I look stupid in them now.
6:24
I've worn shorts the whole time, 25 years.
6:29
I'm committed to jorts, they're coming back, kids, get your parent out goes back.
6:40
So jorts will be back.
6:40
Are all Kevin Smith movies connected?
6:40
What a great question.
6:40
Most of them are.
6:43
In the beginning of my career I was real into the idea of universe building and so all my movies are connected.
6:47
The people in Clerks reference events in Mallrats and vice versa.
6:54
The people in Chasing Amy know all those characters.
6:54
Jay and Silent Bob pop up in all the movies.
6:54
All the characters in the slow section of New Jersey, everybody knows each other and stuff like that.
6:54
So now in the age of Marvel movies people like, "Hey man, you did it before Marvel, they stole your idea."
7:03
They did not.
7:05
I stole that idea from Marvel Comics.
7:08
Like in the comic books everybody knew each other.
7:13
So when I made movies I was like, I want to do it and I like that, I like the notion of like, "Oh yeah, everybody knew each other in this world."
7:16
Why should every story stand apart and these people don't know each other?
7:22
I like the idea of crossover as a comic book kid that appealed to me, so I put it deep into my movies as well.
7:24
Did Kevin Smith go to college?
7:26
He did for like a red-hot minute, man.
7:33
He went to Community College in Brookdale, where I live in in Ju Jersey when I was growing up.
7:33
But I tried to go to The New School for Social Research in Manhattan.
7:33
It was for writing, I wanted to be a writer real badly.
7:41
I lived on the eighth floor of a building in Union Square and I'd only ever lived on one floor my whole life.
7:46
And one day we're all sitting around the suite, somebody throws a water balloon out the window and I'm like, "What, what a great idea, man."
7:52
And suddenly we start making water balloons and whipping them out the window for like, "Bam!"
7:56
And throwing them eight floors down.
7:58
Everyone else in the room, it got bored of it, but me, I was like, "Let's keep doing it."
8:01
So I go home that weekend, my parents said, "Come in here to the living room," and they're like, "What is this letter?"
8:07
And they hand me a letter from my college where they tell my parents that I was throwing water balloons out my window and that they've heard that I plan to repeat this activity at the end of the school year and they're letting my parents know if one drop of water hits the ground in Manhattan they're calming the NYPD and blaming me and I'm getting arrested.
8:28
And I'm like, "College, like this is a high school tattletale thing."
8:32
They can tell on you in college upper education?
8:36
This is a bunch of, this is high school plus.
8:38
So I dropped out of college, man.
8:40
I went to Brookdale for a few semesters and then instead I wind up making Clerks.
8:45
Did Kevin Smith discover Chris Hemsworth?
8:50
If anyone's asking then yes, I discovered Chris Hemsworth.
8:56
He's in my new movie Jay and Silent Bob Reboot and he was wonderful in it.
8:55
He came in, crushed it, he was funny and dude's very, very funny and insanely easy to look at.
9:00
Oh my God.
9:00
Does Kevin Smith like Kevin Bacon?
9:07
Everybody loves Kevin Bacon, man.
9:07
Does Kevin Smith have a podcast?
9:10
Come on.
9:10
Kevin Smith has nothing but podcasts.
9:16
He's got nothing going for him, he's got a lot of podcasts.
9:14
I think I got five at this point, active ones.
9:17
SModcast, Jay and Silent Bob Get Old, Hollywood Babble-On, Fat Man Beyond.
9:25
I guess four active ones at this point.
9:25
Does Kevin Smith drink?
9:25
What an interesting question.
9:27
No, I don't and you want to know why?
9:30
It's because of Jesus.
9:32
Let me tell you about my friend Jesus.
9:32
No, I'm just kidding.
9:34
I don't like the taste of booze.
9:38
Oh, drinking's not for me, I ain't against, I don't sound try to tell people be teetotalers and don't drink, but I can't stand it.
9:41
It's not for me at all.
9:41
Weed on the other hand.
9:43
Is Kevin Smith Silent Bob?
9:49
You just saw it.
9:49
Absolutely he is.
9:49
Is Kevin Smith Canadian?
9:52
What a great question.
9:59
I get this asked this all the time and people assume I am because I wore the hockey jerseys.
9:55
I made a movie called Dogma in which God was portrayed by Alanis Morissette because I always felt that God would be Canadian.
10:05
So a lot of people assume that I'm Canadian, I'm not, I'm from New Jersey.
10:10
I'm just a Canada file.
10:12
If I could be a dual citizen, I almost did.
10:14
I came close to taking the test and becoming a dual citizen just for the of it, not like as I married somebody.
10:22
Because I was like, I'd be proud to be Canadian.
10:21
Till somebody's like, "You're gonna be paying income taxes in two different countries."
10:24
I was like, "Wait, what?"
10:26
And then I backed off.
10:26
I like Canada, but I don't want them taking all my money.
10:28
Is Kevin Smith religious?
10:29
He made a movie called Dogma.
10:32
He was raised religious.
10:34
Kevin Smith, I like when we talk about him in the third person, is he religious now?
10:37
No, I guess I would describe him as spiritual.
10:39
He believes in people.
10:39
Dogma might have been the last gasp of my my religious background.
10:45
That was me kind of working my stuff out and going like, "Oh, I guess I guess I'm done with this."
10:48
Is Kevin Smith a good director?
10:50
Kevin Smith is my favorite director in the world.
10:54
The movies he makes are exactly the movies that I want to see.
10:58
Every aspect of him, I'm like, "Oh my God, he got it right, good director, he's a great director."
11:02
Now you asked others not necessarily the case.
11:05
So that's it, man.
11:08
Those are all the questions that have been Googled about me ever.
11:10
So nobody ever needs to Google me again.
11:13
We've covered that area.
11:15
Like I've done Google a service.
11:17
You're welcome, Google.
11:17
Now you could concentrate on more important matters.
11:20
But we've covered Kevin Smith to death, near death.