0:00 But this is...
0:01 Oh, f**k, no.
Oh, mate.
0:03 F**k off.
0:04 Smell that, bruv.
0:05 Smell...
0:06 All right, bruv.
Greg, smell it.
0:08 Yeah, f**k you.
0:09 Oh, that's F**k everybody who works here.
0:16 Hello, I'm Greg Davies.
0:18 I'm Noel Fielding.
0:19 I'm Jamali Maddix.
0:20 And this is Snack Wars UK
versus the rest of the world.
0:25 Sherbet Fountain.
0:26 Classic.
0:26 I love a Sherbet Fountain.
0:28 [Greg] Even I was eating them as a...
0:29 In primary school, I was eating them.
0:31 [Erin, Producer] Just to warn you, so this is Swedish salt licorice.
0:34 Okay, so it's...
0:35 Okay.
0:36 I'm expecting this to be mad sweet.
0:38 Swedish...
0:39 That is f***in' horrible!
0:41 Bruv.
Whoa!
0:42 That is f***in' horrible.
0:45 That is f***in' horrible.
0:48 Who made that?
0:49 Oh my God.
0:50 They're slug pellets.
0:52 Why did they make that?
0:54 Nah, bruv.
0:55 Why did they make that?
0:56 Maybe you have to persevere with it.
0:57 Nah, Greg, have a handful.
0:59 It doesn't even get better.
1:00 It gets worse.
1:00 [Jamali] It get worse.
1:01 Oh, f**k you.
1:03 Oh, f**k off.
1:03 That's horrible, innit?
f**k you.
1:05 Who's made that?
1:07 Who invented that?
1:08 Where's it from?
1:09 F**k this country.
1:11 Sweden.
Sweden.
1:12 Sweden.
1:13 Why would they just...
1:15 It's so salty.
1:16 F***in' Sweden.
1:17 I've never been to Sweden
and now I'm never going.
1:20 [Erin] Believe it or
not, it's like one of the most popular sweets in Sweden.
Why?
1:24 Oh my God.
1:25 Why would you...
1:26 Why don't you just get salt and have that?
1:28 Yeah.
1:29 That's one of the worst things
I've ever had in my mouth.
1:35 F***in' hell.
1:39 This stuff's quite good though.
1:40 It's better than that.
1:41 Jesus Christ.
Might do a line.
1:42 I might do a line of sherbet.
1:44 I also think being
kidnapped is better than this.
1:47 Is this licorice in the sherbet as well?
1:50 Yeah, that's licorice, yeah.
1:51 It's normal licorice though.
1:52 Why does it always have to be licorice, man?
1:53 It's good for your liver, man.
1:54 I don't even like
sherbet, but that was...
1:56 That's an abomination.
1:57 Yeah, I mean, sherbet
a million times over.
1:59 Ready?
2:00 Nothing can be as bad
as those weird, salty, pellets.
Ready?
2:05 Oh, no s**t.
2:06 Oh, here we go.
2:07 They got bulla cake.
2:08 Oh yeah?
2:09 This is Jamaican.
2:10 Is it?
2:10 Yeah. I grew up eating this, bulla cake.
2:11 And they've got scones and cream.
2:13 Let's crack on.
2:16 What's it called?
2:17 Bulla cake?
2:18 Bulla cake.
2:19 It's like a ginger cake.
Yes.
2:20 And then you have it with avocado.
2:22 They call it bulla...
2:23 They call it like pear.
2:25 That sounds nice.
2:26 Enjoy it.
2:28 Did you live in Jamaica,
Jamali, as a child?
2:30 No. You only got sent to
Jamaica if you were bad.
2:33 Did you?
2:34 Yeah, they'd be like...
2:35 It would be like a threat.
2:35 We'll send your arse back to Jamaica.
2:37 And I was like, "Bruv, Mum, you're white.
2:38 Why you sending me back to Jamaica?
2:41 You're f***in' English.
2:42 How you gonna send my
arse back to Jamaica?
2:44 You're white, Mum." You're the only person I ever met who calls his mum bruv.
2:50 Do you want a bit of scone?
2:51 You know I work on "Bake Off," right?
2:54 I've had like 700,000 scones.
2:57 [Greg] Can't even have cakes anymore.
2:58 The last seven years.
3:01 When I went to...
3:03 That's pretty good, innit?
3:04 Jamaica, I had like
a sort of ginger cake but it had alcohol in it.
3:07 Rum cake.
3:08 It was so f***ing strong.
3:10 I was pissed afterwards.
They don't f**k around, man.
3:11 [Noel] From a cake!
3:12 Yeah, rum cake's serious.
3:13 I think the bulla cake's
nice, but I'm gonna...
3:15 Bulla cake and avocado's weird.
3:16 I'm gonna mix things up a bit.
3:17 I'm gonna put some
cream on the bulla cake.
3:19 What you saying about that?
3:21 I'm an innovator.
3:22 [Noel] You've crossed the line, I think.
3:23 [Jamali] Yeah, you've got mad, bruv.
3:25 I'm gonna put some jam on it as well.
3:26 [Jamali] No, you're
losing your f***ing brain, bro.
3:28 Someone stop Greg, man.
3:29 Hey.
3:32 Oh my God.
3:32 Good?
Good?
3:33 ♪ We are the world ♪ ♪ We are the children ♪ Actually, I'm gonna say that
the cream on the bulla cake is better than the
avocado on the bulla cake.
3:45 Isn't it?
3:45 You think so?
3:46 [Noel] Yeah.
3:49 Tell me that's not better.
3:50 Not f***in' bad, man.
3:51 [Noel] That's not bad.
3:52 That's not bad, bro.
3:54 That is not bad.
That is not f***in bad, bro.
3:56 Well, I would say bulla cake as long as I can put cream
and not avocado on it.
3:59 I'm gonna say bulla cake.
4:01 Do you know what?
4:01 I'm gonna have to go for the
bulla cake with the cream.
4:04 And the jam.
4:05 Yeah.
4:05 I didn't put jam on it, but
the cream, yeah, for sure man.
4:08 Go on Greg.
4:09 Lift the cloche.
4:09 Oh God, Toblerone.
Oh, s**t.
4:11 I love both.
4:12 Honestly, these are both great.
4:15 All bangers.
4:16 Love Galaxy.
4:17 This is Switzerland's
chance to redeem themselves.
4:19 After that...
Oh yeah.
4:20 No, it was Sweden.
4:21 Oh.
Is it Sweden?
4:22 Same, innit?
4:23 Is it the same?
4:24 Same.
4:24 I'm not being like...
4:26 But if Switzerland and Sweden
were like pushed together, everyone would be completely fine.
4:29 Yeah!
4:30 Completely fine.
4:31 Wouldn't they be fine?
4:32 You know, they could even follow up a bit of Finland if they wanted.
4:34 Yeah.
4:35 Are you pushing Switzerland
and Sweden together?
4:37 Well, I just think it'd be...
4:38 It's a nice idea if everyone's up for it.
4:41 All I'm saying is if...
4:48 If I were a benign dictator, and everyone in Switzerland and Sweden was cool to make it one country.
4:54 Why not?
4:55 I think there is too many countries.
4:56 I think there should only be...
4:57 You only need five.
4:58 Yeah.
4:59 Do five countries and f**kin' lump 'em all in.
Swederland.
5:01 Swederland?
5:02 Swederland Welcome to Swederland.
5:04 Swederland.
5:06 No salt here anymore.
5:08 This is Greg, he's a benign dictator.
5:10 While you was battering, I've just whacked off the whole Galaxy.
5:12 A whole Galaxy?
5:13 F***in' Galaxy, man.
5:14 As if you've never had one before.
5:22 Do you know what
Toblerone's done that's smart?
5:25 Airport chocolate.
5:26 Yeah.
5:27 They've nailed it.
5:28 There's no other airport chocolate.
5:29 No. That's the one.
5:30 You know it's only
when you get a Toblerone, you're very excited to see one, then when you have one you kind of go, "It's not actually that nice." Do you know what would be good?
5:38 A Toblerone but using Galaxy chocolate.
5:41 So there's Galaxy chocolate on the A bit like Switzerland and Sweden.
5:44 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
5:45 What are you going for, Noel?
5:47 It does look a bit like they're going, "Hey, you can eat this
and you'll lose weight." Because the cut packaging.
5:51 I get what you mean.
5:53 It's like hey.
5:54 It's kind of like...
5:54 It kind of has like a
health food bar look to it.
5:57 It does.
5:58 Forget the jabs.
5:59 Just eat 20 of these a day.
6:00 And very astute.
6:02 It doesn't look bad for you.
6:04 Whereas that, slimming chocolate.
6:06 [Erin] Alright, who's the winner?
6:08 Well, Toblerone for me.
6:10 Galaxy.
6:11 Galaxy for Jamali.
6:12 I might go slimming chocolate, just to f**k off Swederland.
6:17 I've been outvoted.
6:18 UK.
There you go, UK.
6:20 Have we been better or worse
than most people who do this?
6:22 Much worse.
6:23 Much better.
6:24 Much better than everyone?
6:27 We haven't got much on, so...
6:30 It's the most exciting
day I've had in weeks, I'm not gonna lie.
6:33 [Greg] Last one, ready?
6:34 [Jamali] Yep.
6:35 Bang.
6:37 And I know what they're gonna have done.
6:38 They're gonna give us
something absolutely disgusting as the last one.
Century eggs.
6:41 These are the ones...
6:42 That's what it looks
like, the century egg.
6:43 It's like a duck egg and it's like jelly.
6:45 Oh, mate.
6:47 They've done this 'cause
they know it doesn't matter if we walk out now.
6:50 I love pickled eggs.
6:52 Pickled eggs are good, aren't they?
6:53 I've had a pickled egg
before, but this is...
6:56 Oh, mate.
Oh f**k no!
6:58 F**k off.
6:59 Smell that, bruv.
7:00 Smell...
7:01 Greg, smell it.
All right, bruv.
7:03 Yeah, f**k you.
7:04 Oh, that's F**k everybody who works here.
7:07 What is that?
7:08 Bruv, why is this legal to sell?
7:10 That is wrong.
7:11 That's morally wrong.
7:13 He's going in.
7:14 He's not scared by that.
Where's this from?
7:15 [Erin] This is from China.
7:16 China.
Oh...
7:18 [Noel] Oh, mate.
7:19 You can smell it from there, innit?
7:20 Oh man, is it off?
7:21 Are they off?
7:22 [Erin] No.
7:23 Basically what they are
is like preserved eggs.
7:24 It's only 4 to 12 weeks,
but it's in like clay and kind of other like ash, I think.
7:30 You know what they smell like?
7:32 When I was at school,
you could buy a stink...
7:36 Stink bombs.
7:37 Stink bombs.
7:38 And you'd buy little plastic you'd...
7:39 F**k, nah, bruv.
7:41 No?
7:41 Even your fingers.
7:42 Throw a stink bomb in the hall and like get it evacuated.
7:45 That's what that smells like.
7:47 Oh!
7:48 You c**ts.
7:49 [Jamali] Even just
breaking it in your hand.
7:50 Oh my God.
7:53 I can't put that in my mouth.
7:54 No. Are you gonna?
7:56 Are you f***in' mad brother?
7:57 I'm not eating this s**t.
7:58 The smell alone I feel like one of us has gotta eat it.
8:00 Yeah, Greg, you.
8:01 The smell alone is giving
Greg!
8:03 Greg!
8:04 Greg will eat it.
8:04 Greg, don't do it.
8:05 The smell!
8:06 No, no, no, no, leave him, man.
8:07 The smell's giving me a stitch.
8:09 No, Greg.
8:10 He's gonna do it.
8:11 I don't honestly think I can.
8:12 Is it safe?
You can.
8:13 You're our leader.
Yeah.
8:14 Greg, watch the show.
8:15 For the show, for the show.
You're our leader.
8:17 Also, you're the oldest.
8:18 [Jamali] No, you're mad, bro.
8:19 I'd never eat that.
8:19 Tastes like a battery.
8:21 It tastes like you've licked a battery.
8:22 Is it like acidic?
8:23 Is it acidic?
8:25 It's like I've put a
battery on my tongue.
8:27 Is that good?
8:28 I like the jacket.
8:29 Have you ever put a battery on Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
8:31 I like the jacket.
8:32 They've given it a jacket, that egg.
8:33 That's the most I'll say.
8:35 I think it's a culture shock.
8:36 I think it's good to
experience different things.
8:38 Have a bit, go on.
8:39 No. Do you know what,
I'm all up for a laugh, but I can't eat that, bruv.
8:44 That's terrible.
No, I can't eat that.
8:45 Do you know what it is, it's the fact that I cracked it and the stink on my fingers.
8:50 Lingering.
8:51 That's gonna be there for a week.
8:53 I'll tell you what, lovely aftertaste when
you burp it back up.
8:56 Lovely.
8:57 I would rather pop that up
my bum than put it in my mouth.
9:00 I'll do that.
9:01 Pop it up there for you.
9:02 Be a good ending, wouldn't it?
9:03 Yeah.
9:04 Whip those down, let's get on with it.
9:07 That's the sort of
content you want, isn't it?
9:09 How are you gonna do it?
9:10 Me putting a Chinese egg
up Noel Fielding's ass.
9:12 Catapulting a Chinese egg up my arse.
9:15 Up my jacksie.
9:16 Just...
9:17 Have we got a show of hands?
9:18 How many people on this crew would like to see me put a pickled egg...
9:22 Put a Chinese egg up Noel Fielding's ass?
9:25 All.
9:26 Oh, most.
9:28 Even on the cover, how
do you see that and go, "Yeah, I'll have a bit of that." What animal does that egg come from?
9:34 [Erin] That's a duck egg.
9:35 A duck egg.
9:36 [Jamali] A duck come off
from the bowels of hell.
9:38 That's a platypus egg.
9:40 Yeah, so I guess the vote...
9:41 We don't even have to ask.
9:43 England.
No, of course not.
9:44 I mean, honestly, I'd rather eat like a...
9:47 The packaging.
9:49 Yeah.
9:50 There's a lot that I would
eat before I ate that again.
9:53 But I'm a brave boy for
eating it, aren't I?
9:55 [Erin] Yeah, good
on you for trying it.
9:57 Really, genuinely.
Thank you.
9:58 Thanks guys.
9:59 Thanks very much.
9:59 [Erin] In this
episode of Snack Wars, the UK won.
10:03 Well done.
10:04 Well done UK.
Well done UK.
10:06 Hold on.
10:08 There's not a lolly in it.
10:11 I've not got a lolly.
10:12 This is like a faulty packet.
10:15 That is all dip and no dab.