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0:00
Hi, I'm Dana Carvey, and I'm about to do the Google autocorrect interview.
0:08
You may be asking yourself, "Why am I doing this?"
0:11
It's a form of torture.
0:15
First one, Dana Carvey is married.
0:18
Uh, that's true.
0:21
Uh, been married, uh, for 34 years.
0:21
Got married in high school.
0:25
Pretty good marriage, but even in the best marriage, even in the best marriage, at one point you look at your spouse and think, "Not my best choice."
0:34
Dana Carvey is from...
0:39
Dana Carvey is an Iron Man Too?
0:46
Uh, yes, I was the, uh, the Mickey Rourke character with the big lightning bolt slashing, uh, thing.
0:49
That was me.
0:57
Yeah, it's a good thing I was not an Iron Man too, but I take a daily iron supplement.
1:00
Dana Carvey is Hans, or or Franz?
1:05
I am Hans, and if you didn't know the difference, believe me, your buttocks are soft like marshmallows.
1:08
You're lucky I don't have a campfire here.
1:09
Dana Carvey is on Twitter.
1:12
Unfortunately, yes, I am.
1:12
My Irish cousin got me on it because I just wanted to know what it was, and so he says it's only polite you should follow anyone who follows you, so I'm literally following I think around 70,000 people.
1:28
Dana Carvey in State Farm commercial.
1:28
Yes, that was Hans and Franz for State Farm.
1:35
Can you say "ching?"
1:35
It was fun to, uh, hang out with Aaron Rodgers, the great football player.
1:35
You know, you could say stuff to him like, "You're a little flabby, girly man.
1:35
You better not undo your belt, my, of flunch."
1:35
Dana Carvey is Canadian.
1:47
I get this a lot because of Jim Carrey and Mike Myers.
1:53
I'm actually a Montanan.
1:58
I was born about, I guess it's probably about 100 miles from Canada, but I like the Canadians.
1:58
They're docile and sweet.
1:58
A big night for a Canadian is to stand on the border between Canada and America with a Molson and go, "Want to see a felony?"
2:10
Steps over, steps back.
2:10
Living high now.
2:10
Um, how old is Dana Carvey?
2:14
Should I say or make you Google it?
2:17
I would say Google it.
2:19
Get off your ass and use the freaking web.
2:22
How sexy is Dana Carvey?
2:22
No.
2:28
Alright.
2:25
How old was Dana Carvey in Wayne's World?
2:28
The first one, I was 36, and the second one, I was 38.
2:30
And I always, I never thought I was playing younger, I just thought Garth was 38.
2:40
But in the second one, Mike puts in a line, he says, "And Garth finally got pubes."
2:40
You know, so I said to Mike, "Really?"
2:40
Seriously, how much is Dana Carvey worth?
2:40
That's another one you got to Google.
2:40
Now, Celebrity Net Worth, um, all those sites, are they accurate?
2:40
I don't know.
2:40
I don't know.
2:40
I'll leave that to you.
2:40
Let's just say, uh, let's just say I'm not hurting.
2:40
How long has Dana Carvey been married?
2:40
A long time.
3:04
You know, um, my wife is a knockout.
3:08
I married up for sure.
3:08
That, that's, it's amazing that anyone would find this aging carcass attractive.
3:14
Hold your applause.
3:16
And this is the final, uh, how much to book Dana Carvey?
3:23
Basically, here's a way, here's a way to express it.
3:26
Microsoft asked me to do the Church Lady, uh, with Bill Gates at one of their big conventions.
3:32
And I said, "No, I don't sell out the Church Lady."
3:33
And then they told me how much they were going to pay me.
3:35
I said, "I'll get the bitch's dress on right now."
3:40
Is SNL funny?
3:40
Yes.
3:40
The last thing in life you want to be is one of these grumpy old men in show business who's like, "It was always better before."
3:48
It's an impossible show to do.
3:52
Cut them some slack.
4:00
But my friend Lorne Michaels once said, you know, um, the show doesn't go because it's ready to go on, it's because it's like 11:30.
4:04
Is SNL film live?
4:04
No, it's taped in a two-week period right around Christmas.
4:13
Yes, it is filmed live, and if you don't know that it's live, you need help.
4:13
Is SNL funny anymore?
4:13
Didn't we get that one somewhere?
4:13
Yes, it is.
4:13
It's very, very funny.
4:13
Is SNL finished?
4:13
Well, you can see how these questions kind of interweave a little bit.
4:13
Yes, it's funny and it's not finished.
4:32
Mhm.
4:32
Where did Dana Carvey grow up?
4:40
I was, I, I was born in Missoula, lived there till I was about five, and then I grew up in San Carlos, um, which is on the peninsula, south of San Francisco.
4:40
Where did Dana Carvey go?
4:35
I took 15 years off to raise my sons because, you know, I didn't want to be an absentee dad.
4:52
Uh, true story, there is a New York actor who was doing so many movies and his kid was raised by a British nann that when he would call home it'd be like, "Hey, this is Johnny Stato, is Johnny Stato Jr. there?"
5:01
"Hello, Daddy, it's your son, Johnny Stato Jr."
5:01
So I wanted to avoid that.
5:01
Where is Dana Carvey performing?
5:01
Everywhere.
5:01
I just signed a secret contract to play in Las Vegas.
5:01
Where is Dana Carvey now?
5:01
In a chair, uh, on the 97th floor at a skyscraper in LA.
5:01
Size make much, yeah, nice.
5:01
I mean, I know it's great, I like being in, you know, a place with a, you know, tendency for seismic activity, you know.
5:01
Where did Dana Carvey go to high school?
5:01
Uh, I went to Carlmont High School in San Carlos, California, and I was just a shy, introverted kid.
5:01
I never took theater.
5:01
Hi, my name is Dana Carvey and that was my auto complete interview.
5:01
And now tell your husband or wife that you love them.