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0:00
Hello, this is Nick Offerman and I'm doing the Wired autocomplete interview.
0:13
Why, this probably gets typed in the most, why Nick Offerman, is Nick Offerman attractive?
0:13
Clearly.
0:13
Is Nick Offerman married?
0:13
Hell yeah, girl, 20 years.
0:13
Is Nick Offerman a ballet dancer?
0:13
Surprisingly, yes.
0:13
I had two semesters of ballet and I still got it.
0:13
Follow-up question: What is my favorite ballet I ever danced?
0:13
The third.
0:13
Is Nick Offerman anything like Ron Swanson?
0:50
Sure, he looks and sounds an awful lot like him, loves meat, loves making things with wood, loves scotch, particularly Lagavulin single malt, and he really gets Randy for women that look like Megan Mullally.
1:16
Is Nick Offerman's show appropriate for kids?
1:16
Yeah, if you're talking about my touring show, which I think is what they're asking, if your kids are conservative, they might get their feelings a little bit hurt when I intimate that they're indecent.
1:50
Is Nick Offerman really a woodworker?
2:05
Yes, in fact, I was a carpenter, and then I became a scenery carpenter, then I became a woodworker, and I still am.
1:59
Is Nick Offerman in Cats?
2:09
Is that a sex thing?
2:09
Is Nick Offerman Canadian?
2:09
No, but thank you, I took that as a compliment.
2:09
Is Nick Offerman left-handed?
2:09
He is not.
2:09
Is Nick Offerman funny?
2:09
Sometimes.
2:09
Is Nick Offerman missing a tooth?
2:19
I have the teeth I have, let's leave it at that.
2:29
Is Nick Offerman a minister?
2:26
Goddamn right I am.
2:29
Actually a minister, I've married some people.
2:31
I'm registered with one that's cool online churches, not to brag.
2:40
What is Nick Offerman drinking?
2:43
Mainly water.
2:43
When I was younger, that would have been beer.
2:47
What does Nick Offerman look like now?
2:55
That's a trick question.
2:55
This is a visual medium, right?
2:55
A lot like this.
2:59
I'm sorry if you are vision impaired, like a handsomer George Clooney.
3:05
What does Nick Offerman drive?
3:16
I have two vehicles.
3:23
My sensible vehicle is an Audi that is for mileage and safety and parking ability.
3:23
Then at my shop I have a Ford F-250 super duty diesel, which is for hauling pieces of trees.
3:23
What does Nick Offerman do for a living?
3:26
This.
3:26
What college, what college did Nick Offerman go to?
3:40
The University of Illinois at Champaign-Urbana.
3:44
Does Nick Offerman play a guitar?
3:53
He does, he plays several.
4:02
Does Nick Offerman have tattoos?
4:02
He does, two, one on each python.
4:02
One is a, is a heart viney thing with a rose, the rose looks kind of like lady parts, let's call it a Georgia O'Keeffe rose, and it has a banner that says Mater, Latin for mother.
4:22
It's my mother tattoo.
4:26
The other one is are the sort of Mississippi Indian band wraparound with an ankh right here and that tattoo says, I'm a very big fan of the Red Hot Chili Peppers right after Blood Sugar Sex Magik came out and I stand by it.
4:26
Does Nick Offerman have siblings?
4:48
Yes, I have three, two sisters and a brother, all magnificent creatures.
4:54
Does Nick Offerman have a podcast?
4:54
He does, it's called In Bed with Nick and Megan and it's driven, it's the brainchild of Nick Offerman's wife or me.
5:08
I'm Nicola, my wife, she thought of it.
5:11
I get to do it with her.
5:13
That makes Nick Offerman lucky.
5:13
Did Nick Offerman die?
5:18
No.
5:18
Why, this probably gets typed in the most, why Nick Offerman, why Nick Offerman hates the internet, why, why anyone in their right mind hates the internet?
5:42
Have you seen it?
5:42
Why does Nick Offerman say Fremulon?
5:46
My friend and hero Mike Schur, who wrote on Saturday Night Live, he wrote on The Office, also plays Mose Schrute, super fun fact, created Parks and Rec, created Brooklyn Nine-Nine.
6:02
When we were making Parks and Rec, they were making their producer card for Brooklyn Nine-Nine for his company called Fremulon.
6:09
He asked me to say Fremulon and it's the greatest compliment I've ever received.
6:14
Why is Nick Offerman so popular?
6:17
There's no accounting for taste.
6:26
How Nick Offerman stays in character?
6:30
It's all in the breath.
6:30
How is Nick Offerman beard style?
6:33
I asked myself that every day, 'Hello, I'm Nick Offerman beard style?'
6:41
I think that's improper grammar.
6:41
Beard style Nick Offerman today?
6:41
I'm heavy stubble.
6:41
How did Nick Offerman become famous to the degree that he did?
6:41
By winning the actor lottery and being cast in the role of Ron Swanson on Parks and Recreation.
6:41
How to meet Nick Offerman politely?
6:41
How did Nick Offerman meet Megan Mullally?
6:41
We met doing a play in Los Angeles called The Berlin Circle by Chuck Mee.
7:24
Thank my lucky stars.
7:34
Chuck Mee is a cool absurdist writer.
7:31
He calls himself a collage writer and has characters like Erich Honecker, and, and Megan played New York socialite Pamela Harriman, and it ended with the celebratory everybody gets together and sings The Beatles' "All You Need Is Love" in German, "Alle Block and Liebe," I believe, and the rest is history.
7:55
Put a ring on that.
7:55
Can Nick Offerman sing?
7:55
Goddamn right.
7:55
Can Nick Offerman actually play the saxophone?
7:55
Oh hell yeah.
7:55
Can Nick Offerman breakdance?
7:55
I don't know, can he?
7:55
Was Nick Offerman in the military?
7:55
No.
7:55
Has Nick Offerman hosted SNL?
7:55
No.
7:55
Lorne.
10:19
Nick Offerman Freemason.
10:22
We met on the level, we parted on a square.
10:22
Nick Offerman Baywatch, almost.
10:22
Nick Offerman is my spirit animal, and I believe that is no longer a cool thing to say, politically, cultural appropriation from Native Americans, so now you have to say my inner beast, please and thank you.
10:22
My inner beast, Tim Curry as Frankfurter in Rocky Horror Picture Show, Frank N. Furter.
10:22
Nick Offerman Lord of the Rings.
10:22
Nick Offerman quotes to live by, stick around, coming up any moment now.
10:22
Nick Offerman shirts on making it.
10:22
Some are flannel by the Carhartt clothing company, some the denim-looking ones are made by a cool company in Hartford, Connecticut, Hart and Co.
10:22
Check them out, their stuff is dope.
10:22
Nick Offerman Yuletide log.
10:22
A brilliant idea by a young man named David Phillips.
10:22
I shoot commercials for Lagavulin Scotch, one of them for Christmas is me sitting by a roaring fireplace meant to be put on the television to accompany your office party, your family gathering as I sip scotch in a satisfied manner.
10:22
You're welcome.
10:22
Nick Offerman quotes about love.
10:22
Love is where it's at.
10:22
It all turns on affection.
10:22
I feel pretty like that was pretty nice and harmless and I'm surprised, frankly, you know that there weren't any like, 'Why don't we put Nick Offerman in prison?'