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0:00
This is an important question.
0:00
Do you guys have a group chat without me?
0:08
Why would we do that?
0:11
Yes, Rashida, yes.
0:13
We've brought you here today to take a lie detector test.
0:14
No problem, no problem.
0:18
No matter what happens, I don't believe in lie detector tests.
0:20
Okay, that seems convenient.
0:22
The way this is gonna work is that one of you will be hooked up to the lie detector while the other asked questions and then you'll switch.
0:28
So who wants to be in the hot seat first?
0:31
I'm putting you in the hot seat.
0:34
I'm ready.
0:34
I will tell you the truth no matter what.
0:36
I never lie to my wife.
0:37
Have you ever done this before?
0:47
Not for the camera, my own.
0:47
Oh, that's okay.
0:53
How's this look?
0:53
Great, great.
0:59
Kind of like BDSM, ew.
1:07
Yeah, right on.
1:07
Alright, so sub Dom?
1:07
Sorry, it's just that what you're asking...
1:07
It's okay, we're gonna start off easy, okay, just a test.
1:11
Alright, the parameters, you ready?
1:11
Are you ready, Sam?
1:13
We're ready.
1:13
Is your name Amy Poehler?
1:16
Yes.
1:16
Are you one of the founding members of The Upright Citizens Brigade?
1:22
Yes.
1:22
Are you ready to take this lie-detector test?
1:26
I've never been more ready.
1:29
Alright, let's get started.
1:34
Would you say that your parenting tactics are anything like your characters in Mean Girls?
1:36
Oh, no, no.
1:43
Rashida, one of the things you know about me is I love to get in a character, dive deep as I love my craft.
1:48
So, um, once I leave my characters, you know, I don't bring them home with me.
1:53
Wait, you opened a wine shop?
1:53
Yeah, in Park Slope?
1:57
Yes, I own a wine shop in Park Slope.
2:00
You don't know everything about me.
2:01
Or she is that true?
2:01
That is true.
2:01
What?
2:04
Yeah, you didn't know that?
2:04
No, I'm actually upset right now.
2:06
So cool.
2:06
Yeah, okay.
2:10
Would you consider yourself a wine snob?
2:12
No, I'm not a wine snob.
2:12
I think I know a little bit about wine, but I think I would be afraid to be around people who really know how would I know enough to not say that.
2:22
But don't we think that wine snobs are just people who think they know more than everybody else, not necessarily the people who do know?
2:30
Yeah.
2:32
Where's everybody?
2:32
Yeah, then I am a wine snob.
2:36
Have you ever conducted a wine tasting at that bar?
2:38
Yes.
2:38
What?
2:38
I mean, I didn't invite you, but I was afraid you're going to...
2:51
That's so fair.
2:51
That's fair.
2:55
You get it.
2:55
Wine taste, I know, yes, I've been around when I don't know if I've conducted it.
3:08
Okay, can you improvise a fake wine description right now?
3:06
Oh, yeah, sure.
3:08
This is a white.
3:13
Okay, what I like about this is it's a very crisp and has almost like an, it's very apple forward and it is it's aggressively summer, but it there's some vanilla notes, there's a little bit of pineapple, there's the smell of desperation, which is always really great when you're drinking a white late at night.
3:33
Yeah, the finish is really smooth, it's kind of like what we like to call a jazzy finish.
3:38
Jazzy finish.
3:42
Yeah.
3:42
Does it have legs?
3:42
All of my stuff has legs.
3:45
That's questionable.
3:45
Yeah.
3:45
Would you ever do a Parks and Rec reunion?
3:49
100%, yes, I've made say are you clear?
3:53
That's true.
3:58
Okay, I want it too much, you know what I mean, right?
3:53
I need to pump the brakes, right?
4:00
Did this man, this man right here, did he ever make you break on set?
4:04
Oh, yes, break, break dance, break down, break a dish.
4:08
You know what I love about Nick, he looks like he could be a member of my family.
4:17
You guys are definitely ready.
4:17
Yes, we are probably related.
4:20
Do you text with any of your former co-stars?
4:23
I do.
4:23
We have a texture.
4:28
We see each other.
4:28
We all see each other a lot.
4:30
This is an important question.
4:31
Mm-hmm, do you guys have a group chat without me?
4:34
Why would we do that?
4:41
Answer the question, why would we have a good challenge?
4:43
Because I raised, I know for a fact that there's a post season six group chat that I'm not on.
4:49
Well, this is why I lie detectors don't work, because this is the answer.
4:58
She's skirting the question, folks.
4:58
You want to know the truth, here's the truth, there's about four Parks and Rec Tech's chains.
5:04
There's Parks Fam, right?
5:04
There's like Parks Parks Fam, there's partisan, yeah.
5:11
Got one, yes, and there's another one and there was one that we don't use because you're not on it and Chris Traeger is not on it, Rob Lowe is not on it.
5:18
But I think it's started because we were trying to surprise you.
5:20
Oh, and we kept you off of it, so to answer your question, yes, there is a tech saying that you're not on.
5:26
There is, but I do also think there are four other Tex chains it that I'm mostly not all your else.
5:31
Okay, mm-hmm, you, oh, I said you were on SNL for several reasons, but it doesn't know for several seasons, yes.
5:53
Okay, yeah, okay, is that true?
5:53
That's true.
5:57
Okay, um, do you think that I would make a good cast member?
6:00
100%, you can sing, you're funny, you're a great actor, you have the temperament of that kind of comedy emergency room.
6:10
100%.
6:10
Thank you so much, very, what cuts the...
6:12
I think you should audition for it now.
6:14
That's a good idea.
6:16
I think it's really good.
6:16
You should do an impression of an four person right?
6:20
That's the only one I have and also my character from Duncanville, I could do that impression.
6:24
Yes, you said already that I'd be a good cast member, which I really appreciate.
6:29
Do you think that I would have been a better Weekend Update host than that guy?
6:34
This is, it's real, you know what, I'm not really prepared to answer that question because I don't know, right?
6:41
I feel like you'd both do a great job.
6:41
I think you both do a better job than I would.
6:41
No, no, going with what it honestly, what does it say?
7:26
That's crazy.
7:30
Of course you guys would have done a better job than I did.
7:30
You can be honest and I will accept it and also you're, I think that sexual chemistry would have been better between you and I.
7:30
Okay, but I do think Seth did an okay job.
7:30
He's okay.
7:30
He's a solid C.
7:30
Yeah.
7:30
Did you ever do anything backstage with this woman that in any state or any country could be considered illegal?
7:30
I've never seen this woman before in my life.
7:30
Sam, that's not true.
7:30
Wow, so many lies.
7:30
Okay, aside from acting, writing and directing, you also produce.
7:31
Is it safe to say that you conduct a lot of your business over email?
7:36
That is safe to say, yes.
7:36
Have you used the phrase circled back in the last 24 hours?
7:43
A circle back is a great for you like it, love it.
7:45
Why?
7:45
Um, I like it because it's like I don't want to answer your question, forget it.
7:56
Have you ever passive-aggressively written as stated in my last email, I read your last email or something of that ilk?
8:03
I really try not to be passive-aggressive these days, just straight up.
8:08
But I try to be straight up aggressor.
8:09
Yeah, but I of course I have.
8:11
I've probably written things like it seems like you don't really have time to answer this question, like stuff like that or like maybe I should take your silence as an indication that you're not interested in this.
8:20
That's great, but that's a pretty passive-aggressive.
8:22
What about you, have you done that?
8:24
Oh, definitely.
8:26
I'm so passive-aggressive on email.
8:28
I always like writing looking forward.
8:29
I also write a lot of checking in da checking in like the are you, you know, putting this at the top of your, oh, yeah, bum saying that wasn't something bumping this to the top of your business.
8:40
Did you do that?
8:40
Yeah, but bumping this to the top of your inbox in case you haven't seen it, your Elby's issues.
8:45
We should answer emails more.
8:49
It seems like we have fun doing, okay.
8:54
Do you watch everything I'm in?
8:58
No, only because you are in a lot of things and I don't think I've seen it all and I don't want to lie and I feel like there will probably be some kind of surgery coming up at some point that I'll be captured for and I'll catch up.
9:10
Yeah, I'd rather be with you during surgery anyway, you know.
9:12
At any point in this interview did you lie and we didn't catch you?
9:18
The answer is did I, you know, if you rewind back everything we've said and you take the first word of everything that I said, it was a riddle and it's gonna tell you where the sentence body is buried.
9:35
Great, go back the tapes, open up the box and see what's in there.
9:40
Okay, you're not gonna like it.
9:42
I'm not gonna like it.
9:44
I do like the look, it feels very like Balenciaga 2020.
9:48
Right, it's very high fashion, it's very Rick Owens.
9:53
Is your name Rashida Jones?
9:59
Yes.
9:59
Already, already loving.
10:04
Is your dad musical legend Quincy Jones?
10:07
Yes, he is.
10:07
Are you nervous to take this lie-detector test?
10:09
Yep, yep, count as an answer with our line.
10:14
You're telling the truth.
10:17
You went to Harvard.
10:17
I did.
10:17
Do you think you're better than me because of that?
10:26
Worse.
10:28
Did you write for the Harvard Lampoon?
10:28
I did not.
10:31
Is it because you thought the guys that wrote for the Harvard Lampoon were annoying?
11:03
A little bit, yeah.
11:01
I'm sorry.
11:07
Rashida, we were in Parks and Rec together.
11:07
Yes.
11:07
Did the cast ever talk about me behind my back?
11:07
No, no, it's true, she's telling the truth.
11:07
You know, we're tight, we're my improvised dance parties on set ever annoying?
11:07
Yes, still the joy of my life.
11:07
Do you think I'm a good dancer?
11:10
I do.
11:18
Oh my god, but Rashida, do you ever have fantasies about like being a professional dancer?
11:18
Of course.
11:18
I mean, I would never, but do you think you could be one?
11:15
No, at this point, no, like a middle-aged upstart, no, maybe had I like done some groundwork early on, maybe, but probably not.
11:26
Would you go undo that you can dance?
11:26
No, no, that seems hard.
11:29
Yet, you've played characters that have been under both this character, Michael Scott and Leslie Knope.
11:46
Yeah.
11:46
Who is the better boss?
11:46
Leslie Knope.
11:44
But I will say Steve Carell was also my boss as a human being and he's a better boss than Michael Scott.
11:49
So you're going on record to say that you like Steve Carell?
11:53
I do like Steve Carell.
11:58
First person I've heard say that.
11:58
I know it's, it's tough for him out there.
11:58
You were voted most likely to succeed in high school, why?
12:02
I did not know that I was.
12:02
It's me and Terrell Jackson, who's Tito Jackson's son.
12:08
And then in the picture, we're like, have like a lot of cash, like every night I've bought a car and I'm immature, they don't, they your and Julie got bit wad of cash that cuz that's success, right?
12:23
That's amazing.
12:24
Do you hate being asked what it's like to be a woman in comedy?
12:27
Yes.
12:28
Is there an answer you wish you could say that you've never been able to?
12:30
Ask me something else that's not stupid.
12:32
Yeah.
12:37
That's the answer you wish I could be like that's stupid.
12:38
You don't mean that, that's what I wish I could say.
12:40
You don't mean that.
12:41
You don't mean that.
12:41
That's a good one.
12:43
Yeah, that would be a good one to put in an email.
12:45
You didn't mean that.
12:45
Oh my god, can you just type it in really tiny letters so it sounds like you're whispering again?
12:54
They're like this, oh my god.
12:54
If I called you from jail, would you bail me out?
13:00
Definitely.
13:00
Even if you didn't know what it was?
13:02
Yeah, thanks.
13:02
If you were stuck in a remote desert island with either me or Chris Pratt, who would you choose?
13:07
Think about it.
13:12
I mean, he's got a lot of pros, he can cut wood, he could build something, he's got a good attitude.
13:19
He does have a good attitude and my attitude would be in that he's sound strong.
13:22
I mean, you and I, we wouldn't even, we couldn't hold Nick down in like a comedy stage acting way for sheer like time value of time.
13:30
I would say you because we have so much to talk about.
13:36
We never don't have anything to talk about, but if I was trying to survive, probably that guy.
13:40
Yeah, you know, sorry, I do love you though.
13:44
If Pratt died, there being more to eat.
13:46
That's true.
13:46
You wrote an episode of Black Mirror.
13:48
Yes.
13:48
And it explores the way we rate people in social media.
13:52
Do you seek validation on social media?
13:52
I try not to, but yes, sometimes I do.
13:54
Have you ever posted a thirst trap?
13:58
Um, like not expressly, like I think I've posted things that were like out of my comfort zone in terms of like trying to come off sexy, but like not to actually entrap someone.
14:16
I did not know this, you're in rapper Jeremiah song past dad.
14:19
Oh yeah, he calls you, that's great.
14:25
What is the story there?
14:25
No, I heard it when it first came out, I was like, oh my god, don't say cool, you're like guys talking about me, I'm in that song.
14:41
If you could pick a song that was like, like your anthem even for the year, um, you know what song I love is that Collide song is from last year, Can't We Just Talk?
14:53
Give it is such a good song.
14:53
It is so good and good.
14:53
Okay, and Rashida, at any point during this interview, did you lie?
14:53
I don't think so, but I'm having a weird sensation where like I'm not sure if I'm lying because I've hooked up to something that's trying to determine, that's why I keep asking you if I'm lying because I just don't know.
14:53
I don't think so.
14:53
Did I be real?
14:53
This is your moment, be real, did I lie?
14:53
You are telling the truth.
14:53
Okay.
14:53
Spoken like a true sociopath.