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0:00
Hi, I'm Neil Patrick Harris, and this is the Wired Autocomplete Interview.
0:07
I assume there would be titles.
0:14
I Google myself a lot of times throughout the day, so the Google is, what Neil Patrick Harris, like, what Neil Patrick Harris, or like, what Neil Patrick Harris?
0:29
I don't know what Google thinks the inflections are, but let's see.
0:32
What is Neil Patrick Harris doing these days?
0:35
A lot.
0:35
What am I doing these days?
0:43
I was just in London filming a episode of a special for Doctor Who, where I play someone I'm not allowed to talk about, and I had to have a posh British accent, or did I?
0:47
And now I'm hanging out with my kids in our place in East Hampton with my husband called Funhouse Farm, fixing things, super gluing things, and learning how hand tools work.
0:59
What was Neil Patrick Harris' first movie?
1:03
Clara's Heart.
1:06
It was a Whoopi Goldberg film, and I played sort of a very waspy kid that she was the housekeeper to, and it was based on a novel by the same name, and it was amazing to have your first movie be opposite Whoopi Goldberg, who is as cool in real life as you would think by watching her be cool in her on-camera persona.
1:30
What episode did Neil Patrick Harris direct?
1:30
I directed an episode of How I Met Your Mother, and it was incredibly exciting.
1:30
I got to film a parody as if I was doing an SNL short, you know, that kind of vibe, and I got to yell at the cast, which I think was most fun.
1:30
Amazing job, Allison.
1:30
This time I'm just trying to care.
1:30
I'm going to be a good director someday.
1:30
What did Neil Patrick Harris win a Tony for?
1:30
I won a Tony for playing Hedwig in the revival on Broadway of Hedwig and the Angry Inch, sort of punk rock show, stomped around like Mick Jagger, lived my life, lost 21 pounds, got a yeast infection on my vocal cord, and thanks for that, they gave me a trophy, maybe because since I posted the awards before, I just pay people to change the names in the envelopes.
1:30
What game did Neil Patrick Harris invent?
1:30
Well, I've done a couple games, boxed games.
1:30
One's called Amazed, quick word puzzles, it's the board that you're playing can fold and unfold and refold in all sorts of different ways, so the board itself is always different.
1:30
I've also after that did a game called Box One, that's dope.
1:30
It's a party game for one person, Box One.
1:30
Too many of these games require too many people to play.
1:30
What if you're by yourself?
1:30
It's not what you think it is when you start playing it, it's a bit escape the roomy, something's in my eye, and I can't say more about it because then it screws up the experience.
1:30
We're working on Box Two right now.
1:30
What will it be?
1:30
Wouldn't you like to know?
1:30
It'll at least be more expensive.
1:30
Probably won't actually.
1:30
More questions, bring them on.
1:30
Watch this magic trick.
3:30
Is Neil Patrick Harris the new Doctor Who?
3:44
No, I'm not.
3:44
The new Doctor Who is a man named, who's amazing, he's on a show called Sex Education right now, and I think his doctor is going to be super dope.
3:44
Is Neil Patrick Harris really a magician?
3:44
You'd be the judge.
3:44
Watch this, see this in my hand, watch closely, it's gone.
3:44
My love for magic runs deep.
3:46
I used, I grew up in a small town in New Mexico, and in a larger town called Albuquerque, there was a magic shop, I'd buy as many little pack of tricks as I could, all the stuff that you need and all the words that you need to say, patter, and the secret is in there.
4:00
I heard about this thing called The Magic Castle, which was a private club in Los Angeles, but you couldn't go unless you were a magician, and you couldn't get in unless you knew the secret password.
4:08
Well, my father, who is an attorney, his secretary got to go to the Magic Castle, and she refused to tell me, and so I became a junior member.
4:16
I auditioned when I was in Los Angeles playing a doctor person, and I know the secret password now.
4:22
I'm not going to tell you because you have to figure it out on your own.
4:22
Then I became a regular member, then I became, I was on the Board of Directors, and then I became the President of the place, changed stuff around, new valet, new food, and it's doing better than ever, so if you can get a way into the Magic Castle, you too can have that same experience.
4:38
Is Neil Patrick Harris married?
4:40
Well, what do you think, sucker?
4:44
You see this thing?
4:44
I am married to a youngish man, David Michael Burtka.
4:54
He's an actor, he's won the Fred Astaire award for his dancing skills on Broadway.
4:54
He's very critical of me.
4:54
No, it's not.
4:54
David's great.
4:54
We've been married for eight years, but together for 18.
4:54
Is Neil Patrick Harris friends with Jason Segel?
4:54
Well, let's define friends.
4:54
Is anyone friends with Jason Segel really?
5:14
Is Jonah Hill friends with Jason Segel?
5:20
Yeah, he's a really lovely guy, he's adorable, super humble when you meet him.
5:20
He'll be like, oh, hey, wow, that's so nice you say that, I really appreciate you so much, and he knows all the lyrics to Les Miserables, and we would sing Javert and Valjean duets together all the time, so friend for life.
5:36
Was Neil Patrick Harris in Starship Troopers?
5:41
Fun fact, I wasn't.
5:45
It was the kid from Malcolm in the Middle.
5:46
No, that's not true.
5:46
I was in Starship Troopers, Paul Verhoeven film.
5:55
I played Carl Jenkins, and I get to touch big giant evil bugs that look very vaginal and say that they're frightened.
5:55
Starship Troopers, I only recommend the first one, sorry.
5:55
Does Neil Patrick Harris like suits?
5:55
Love suits.
6:11
Let's talk about suits.
6:15
Buy a medium-priced suit, not to spend too much money on it, spend a little extra money getting your suit tailored.
6:15
Dude, well-tailored suit, get a black one and maybe a blue or brown one.
6:23
You could be the nicely dressed person at any event, always recommend the suit.
6:26
Does Neil Patrick Harris tap dance?
6:28
Nope, never taken a dance lesson in my life, which is a problem because I have imposter syndrome.
6:35
They call me a song and dance man, I've never taken a dance class in my life.
6:37
I've danced a lot, I can make, I can move a bit, but I'm often surrounded by like Broadway dancers who are really, really good at what they do, and I just feel inept in every way.
6:47
Can't tap dance, would like to learn, you have to have loose ankles, I hear.
6:52
Does Neil Patrick Harris have the VFD tattoo?
6:58
Do I?
7:00
And flexibility, look at that bad boy.
7:06
The VFD tattoo is from Series of Unfortunate, the VFD tattoo's from Series of Unfortunate Events, Count Olaf had the same tattoo in like midway through season one.
7:11
I thought, well, I should get that tattoo because there's only been a few people who will ever have played Count Olaf, and I don't think Jim Carrey is that committed as an actor.
7:21
A V, an F, and a D that only the people who watch the whole show know what it stands for.
7:27
Does Neil Patrick Harris watch Cobra Kai?
7:31
Okay, I haven't seen it yet.
7:33
I have too many shows like that.
7:40
I am just now watching The Crown, by the way, that Claire Foy, she's going to go places, she's amazing, but I haven't, when am I going to watch season one of Cobra Kai?
7:44
It's already, now there's like season seven of Cobra Kai.
7:49
Does Neil Patrick Harris sing in Glee?
7:51
I sang a single song, "Leave On," with Matthew Morrison in an episode that was directed by Joss Whedon, and I wanted an Emmy Award for it.
8:05
It was not because I was the best person of the season in guest actor in a thing category, it was because I was on the Glee train.
8:12
Don't regret it, sorry.
8:19
How rich?
8:19
What?
8:19
Oh, how is Neil Patrick Harris?
8:28
Awesome, thanks for asking.
8:30
How old was Neil Patrick Harris, Doogie Howser?
8:34
Strange sentence structure, Google, I expect more from you with the AI.
8:37
I did the pilot of that show when I was 15.
8:44
I did the first season of that show when I was turning 16, and it ran for four years, so let me do the math, carry the one, 16 to 24.
8:57
How many books has Neil Patrick Harris written?
9:02
I've written four volumes of The Magic Misfit series, can't recommend it enough, super good, maybe an animated series soon, not dropping bombs, but you know, fingers crossed, happening.
9:14
I also wrote an autobiography, The Choose Your Own Autobiography of Neil Patrick Harris.
9:21
It's kind of like a choose-your-own-adventure where some of the stories are fake, some of them are super heartfelt, some super gay, and some super funny, and so if you get bored with the one, you just like it says, if you want to hear more about Elton John, go to page 164.
9:21
How many languages does Neil Patrick Harris speak?
9:21
Oh, speak fluently?
9:21
One, English.
9:21
Français, maybe a little bit of Italiano, one and one-tenth.
9:21
What was Neil Patrick Harris for Halloween?
9:21
What aren't I for Halloween?
9:55
I was always when I was young obsessed with Tom Savini and all the crazy makeup stuff, prosthetics, love the gore, I love the fake blood, I love Halloween, I love a safe scare.
10:11
I'm a big fan of haunted houses in that way, I love being scared but knowing that they can't touch me, and that's probably why I had kids, to dress them up in funny costumes.
10:18
What happens to Neil Patrick Harris in Gone Girl?
10:24
Spoilers.
10:24
In Gone Girl, I fall in love with a woman and maybe keep her a little captive, and it does not end well.
10:36
What kind of dog does Neil Patrick Harris think he is?
10:46
Oh, I have better, I have three dogs our family does.
10:48
One is a rescue mom, just a make name, Gidget, she's the oldest now.
11:06
Then there's another rescue named Spike, he's about this big, and he looks a little bit like a seal, and he loves to stand on my shoulders and let me kiss underneath his belly.
11:06
And a third dog, a Golden Retriever, that Santa brought the children, named Ella.
11:06
My father came up with her middle name, which is Menopee, so her full name is LMNOP.
11:20
You're welcome.
11:22
What episode was Neil Patrick Harris on Beat Bobby Flay?
11:28
I think I've done Beat Bobby Flay twice.
11:30
It's a great gig, you don't have to memorize any lines, sit there like you like you're an expert, you get to say snarky things about food that you don't like, and you get to eat the delicious food all day.
11:39
Could I beat Bobby Flay in the show?
11:41
I'm from New Mexico, so I know my way around like a burrito, but I feel like Bobby Flay, she knows his way around, it's the Mexican food too, so no, I couldn't beat Bobby Flay at anything.
11:53
My husband's good, my husband's Bolognese is stupid delicious, so I would say that maybe David's Bolognese could top a Bobby Flay, but that's personal preference.
12:08
Remarkably quiet, that one.
12:08
Thank you so much, Wired audience, for suffering through all of that, it was fun for me.
12:17
Keep watching, check me out on the Uncoupled, where I'm in flagrante delicto, and also sign up for Wondercade, my weekly newsletter, it's free, and I should never have said yes to it, because every week I have to come up with cool fun things to talk about.
12:17
Okay, bye.
12:17
Three, two, one, bye.