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0:00
Oh, I'm Goldie Hawn, and we are doing a wired complete interview.
0:05
Right.
0:05
And I'm Amy Schumer and I'm doing that with her.
0:10
Where's my toadstool?
0:25
What?
0:25
Amy Schumer.
0:37
What is Amy Schumer?
0:46
This is long.
0:46
What is the theme song for Inside Amy Schumer?
0:46
Uh, that was written by Quest Love.
0:46
Yeah, I love that.
0:46
Isn't that great?
0:46
I do.
0:49
What is Amy Schumer famous for?
0:54
I'm trying not to say something dirty, but it is anal.
0:54
Oh my god.
0:54
Okay.
0:54
What does Amy Schumer look like?
0:54
Google Jazelle.
0:54
What is Amy Schumer's favorite app?
0:54
Phone or like potato skins?
0:54
Uh, what is Amy Schumer's ethnicity?
0:54
It's not interesting, you know.
0:54
But we're both like Austrian Jeans.
0:54
Yeah, that's right.
0:54
We both had the Austrian, you know, sort of the Ashkanazi kind of thing.
0:58
And, you know, I had a couple horse thieves and a few people that were of note.
1:05
Uh, and I still think it's a gypsy in us.
1:07
Yeah, I swear I do.
1:09
Oh, we're gypsy now.
1:10
So, yeah.
1:11
Well, we'll meet all your gypsy needs.
1:12
Okay.
1:12
What does Amy Schumer eat?
1:15
Everything.
1:19
Okay.
1:19
Okay.
1:19
What is Goldie Hawn doing now?
1:23
Doing now, I'm with Amy.
1:23
Uh, what else am I doing?
1:23
I just finished building a house.
1:23
Secondly, I'm working with my foundation, which I've got almost two million children now across the globe doing this program.
1:33
Mind up.
1:34
Mind up.
1:34
Thank you.
1:34
Uh, and that's kind of what I'm doing.
1:37
What is Goldie Hawn famous for?
1:44
How dare you Google that?
1:44
How dare you Google?
1:44
Who is Goldie?
1:44
Who are these people?
1:44
Okay.
1:44
What color is Goldie Hawn's hair?
1:44
You're looking at it.
1:51
It's blonde, bro.
1:59
Yeah, I know it's crazy.
1:59
I know it's hard to believe, but that my hair is not colored.
1:59
We're both blonde.
1:59
We're basically the Olsson twins.
1:59
We, we, I mean, it just came.
1:59
My, it's the way it is.
2:02
So, anyway, that's the answer to that.
2:04
What perfume does Goldie Hawn wear?
2:07
I'm a perfume addict.
2:07
I love your perfume, but why do people know what you smell like?
2:07
Because I'm actually weirded out.
2:07
I know, it is kind of weird.
2:07
Now, I'm scared.
2:13
There is kind of a thing.
2:13
But I will say there is a jasmine perfume that I wear.
2:18
Did you get any of that?
2:19
Yes.
2:19
But I feel too creepy wearing it.
2:21
But I do like sniff it when I miss you.
2:23
That's not a creepy thing to say to somebody.
2:24
Relax.
2:24
Fine.
2:27
Anyway, thank you.
2:27
Perfume is my passion.
2:29
Yes.
2:30
What does Goldie Hawn eat?
2:34
Green juice.
2:34
Uh, I'm eating vegetables.
2:46
I have uh nuts.
2:58
I do coconut juice.
3:05
Um, I...
3:05
You're bad.
3:05
I'm bad.
3:05
I like oysters and I like um wine.
3:05
What is Goldie Hawn eating?
3:05
I guess in the movie Death Becomes Her.
3:05
I'm trying to remember.
3:05
I don't have any, like, ate it.
3:05
Well, I don't have a full-on answer for that one.
3:05
This is scary.
3:05
Yeah, I know, because you know that could be anything.
3:05
Is Amy Schumer dating Amber Rose?
3:05
Do you know who that is?
3:05
No.
3:05
No.
3:05
You would love her.
3:05
You know what I mean?
3:10
She was a stripper actually.
3:07
Amber Rose.
3:07
I mean, it sounds like, I mean, aren't we all strippers?
3:12
You are.
3:13
That's true.
3:13
That's true.
3:13
But you know why they asked that?
3:14
Because I, I at the MTV Movie Awards last year for a bit we kissed and I like forgot we were even doing a bit.
3:21
She's so, she's like the sexiest woman ever.
3:24
So they got the wrong idea.
3:25
They got the wrong idea.
3:26
See that?
3:26
You play, you have fun and then all of a sudden it's like a thing.
3:30
Is Amy Schumer from Long Island?
3:30
Long Island represent.
3:35
Yay.
3:35
I, exactly.
3:35
I like Long Island.
3:38
Do you?
3:39
It's long.
3:39
That's the only thing.
3:39
It's lean, too.
3:41
Yeah, they got the name right.
3:42
They did get the name right.
3:42
Is Amy Schumer left-handed?
3:44
That's like what all the guys I've ever like jerked off asked 'cause I was so bad at it.
3:53
They're like, "Are you left-handed?"
3:53
What you're doing with your right...
3:53
That's where my mind went right away.
3:53
Your mind is so quick.
3:53
I'm sorry about that.
3:53
Okay.
3:53
Is Amy Schumer behind bars?
3:53
Oh, that's really funny.
4:21
I know.
4:24
I've read a couple times that I've been arrested for getting in uh in fist fights.
4:24
Oh, really?
4:24
In cities where I'm not in.
4:24
I'm not behind bars.
4:24
No, she's not.
4:24
But thank you.
4:24
Oh, is this me?
4:24
This is you.
4:24
Okay.
4:24
How Goldie Hawn, how is Goldie?
4:24
People just want to check in with you.
4:24
How is Goldie?
4:24
I love her.
4:24
Honey, Goldie's good.
4:24
Goldie's good.
4:24
Goldie's good.
4:24
Yeah, I'm, I'm, I'm really good.
4:24
Moved into a new house.
4:24
Kids are great.
4:24
Um, life is good.
4:29
I'm sitting next to my other daughter.
4:31
That's right.
4:33
It's all workingless, you know, so, so far.
4:35
How was Goldie discovered?
4:42
I was dancing.
4:42
And then a man came up to me and asked me if I had an agent.
4:45
And I said, "No."
4:47
And he said, "Here's my card."
4:50
And I said, "Thank you very much."
4:56
And I put it into my bra 'cause I was getting ready to go back to rehearsal.
4:52
And I just thought he wanted a date.
4:58
And I never called him again until they called me at my apartment afterwards and said, "Uh, is this Goldie Hawn?"
5:06
Well, we're waiting for you here at William Mars agency.
5:06
And I went, "You are?"
5:06
And I got in my car, which did not have a floor in it.
5:06
Okay.
5:06
Uh, you know, it was sort of, yeah, kind of like that.
5:06
It was an old jalapy.
5:06
And that's how I got, that's how it started.
5:06
Oh my god.
5:06
Never know when you say yes what's going to happen.
5:06
Oh my god.
5:06
We have such different experiences of how people react to us dancing.
5:06
At least I wasn't on a table.
5:06
Okay, that's true.
5:06
How is doing again?
5:06
Like people just want to know how you...
5:38
I'm connotating a sweetness and a concern and I, I, I just want to share with you that I'm fine.
5:46
Yeah.
5:46
Who's worried about everything is I know, you know, I'm still running the miles, babe, and hanging in high and, you know, it's a very sweet thing.
5:54
So, I, I appreciate it.
5:56
Okay.
5:58
Somebody asked how I was doing.
5:58
Okay.
6:00
How to get Goldie Hawn.
6:05
How to get Goldie Hawn hair.
6:05
A little bit threatening.
6:05
A little bit scary because getting my hair is a different thing of like replicating my hair.
6:12
Yeah.
6:12
Your hair smells great.
6:14
It does.
6:14
Well, first of all, when I was born, I was born bald.
6:17
Now, it came out blonde.
6:21
Really blonde.
6:21
The color it is.
6:24
That was the thing.
6:24
So, how do you get it?
6:26
I guess you have to come from Laura Hawn and Ruton.
6:30
Just come from your room.
6:30
It's easy.
6:30
Yeah.
6:30
No, it's easy.
6:30
I came out and I went, I'm blonde.
6:30
Oh, tall is Goldie Hawn.
6:30
Goldie Hawn is 5' 6" tall.
6:30
Perfect in every way.
6:30
I wish I was 5'7".
6:30
Yeah, but you can lie about it.
6:30
Yeah.
6:30
Oh, there's...
6:30
Oh, can blondes evolve?
6:30
I think that blondes have nothing to do with evolution.
6:57
There were no blonde monkeys.
6:57
No, there were, you know, listen, I've seen a monkey or two and I've seen some hair and I looked at that and there are streaks and they do, you know, there's streaks of blonde.
7:08
Can blondes make a good wife?
7:11
I don't know how to answer that.
7:11
Do you?
7:12
Yeah.
7:12
No, I mean, I, I've never been a good wife.
7:15
Okay.
7:15
Can blondes be Jewish?
7:19
You're looking at them.
7:23
Can blondes make a ginger baby?
7:27
Absolutely.
7:29
Why not?
7:30
Like the hair color, not...
7:30
You're not picturing like a little gingerbread man, right?
7:34
It could be, but I, I wasn't thinking gingerbread man.
7:36
Okay.
7:36
You were thinking like a red head.
7:38
Well, first of all, blondes actually have a lot of red in their hair.
7:41
True blond.
7:43
So, my family had a lot of red hair and I'd call it kind of that ginger look.
7:47
Yeah.
7:47
So, I'd say, "Yeah."
7:49
Yeah.
7:49
We can make a ginger baby for you.
7:51
We'll whip one right up.
7:53
Could we make a little ginger?
7:56
I hope.
7:56
I'm going to try.
7:58
Oh my god.
7:58
Shut up.
7:58
Here, do it.
8:00
All right.
8:00
Can blondes be emo?
8:00
We're skipping that.
8:03
Can blondes count?
8:03
Let me tell you the three ways.
8:09
Okay.
8:09
Go ahead.
8:10
That we can.
8:11
Yeah.
8:11
Are blondes dying out?
8:14
And what an interesting idea.
8:16
Who's worrying?
8:19
Blondes are dying out.
8:19
Are blondes crazy?
8:19
Evil.
8:30
You know it.
8:34
No.
8:34
I learned that.
8:34
I mean, it's not surprising.
8:34
People just want to kind of check in on you.
8:34
How's Goldie doing?
8:34
You know.
8:34
Yeah, yeah.
8:34
But their level of curiosity I find interesting.
8:34
What we're saying is we learned nothing.
8:43
But we had fun.
8:48
Oh, it's so fun.
8:48
This was a fun game.
8:48
This was a good game.
8:48
I know.
8:48
Well, was it a game?
8:48
I don't know.
8:48
But anyway, it was fun.
8:48
Anyway, we won again.